2. One Mindset Shift To Change the Way You Think about Failure
Too many moms are burnt out by their corporate job, dreading every day before they even wake up. Sound familiar? If you know you need to leave the nine-to-five life behind, but you're afraid of taking the leap because you're scared of what could go wrong and that it could ultimately end up in failure, this episode is for you.
When I was deciding whether or not I was ready to start my own business, one mindset shift changed everything for me: failing ahead of time. Many of us misunderstand the role failure plays in our journey, and we let failure stop us from taking action and pursuing big goals. But when we fail to start, we've already failed, and you can leverage this concept to create a life you really love.
Tune in this week to discover why your fear of failure isn't keeping you as safe as you might think. Leaving your job to start your own business isn't a decision to be taken lightly, but if the only reason you haven't started yet is because you're scared of failing, it's time to replace the, "What if…?" with, "What could be…?"
Ready to discover how to shift your mindset and start seeing failure as a learning opportunity rather than a roadblock? Download the FREE accompanying action guide for this episode, by completing the form below!
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What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
How to see the resistance you have to trying something because of the possibility of failure.
Why failure is a critical part of trying anything new.
The ripple effect of staying in a job and routine that you hate.
How to see the ways you're currently failing ahead of time.
Why staying comfortable means you aren't growing or improving.
How to increase your tolerance for failure, so you can discover what you're truly capable of.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. It’s a podcast that helps working moms just like you, optimize your time, manage your mind, and start a business that helps you create more freedom, flexibility, and, yes, fun. I’m business and mindset coach Jenna Rykiel. And I offer practical tips to help you ditch the nine-to-five. I have been exactly where you are, and I know what it takes to make the transition without trading one form of burnout for another. So let’s get started.
Hello mom friends. I am so glad you’re here. Welcome back to How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. I’m your host, Jenna Rykiel. And I’m here to empower moms like you who know 100% that they need to lead the life of nine to five, but are not sure they have the tools to actually make it happen and be successful in a life of entrepreneurship.
I’m here to give you those tools and the tools that you need, whether it be mindset shifts or business tips so that you can build the confidence, vision, plan, and systems to start taking action to make money on your own terms. I want you to be able to show up in your career and in motherhood, feeling like the superhero that you are. But too often an inflexible and unsupportive corporate job can get in the way. Too many of us are absolutely miserable, exhausted, and dreading the day before we even wake up. And I’m here to say that it doesn’t have to be that way.
So, let’s dive right in with a mindset shift that really rocked my world when I was first deciding whether to start a business and leave my corporate role in sales leadership. It was a reckoning with failure and the realization that I had been misunderstanding the role failure plays in my life and business. This isn’t the first or last time I talk about failure on this podcast because it’s a critical part of the experience of trying anything new
And it’s also important to recognize that failure holds so many of us back from taking action and pursuing big goals. But what’s so interesting is that when we fail to start in order to avoid failure, we’re still failing, it’s just considered failing ahead of time. I want you to imagine you’re sitting at your desk in your corporate job and maybe you’re listening to this while you’re at your desk, so there’s not much room for imagination. But you’re staring at the clock counting down the minutes until you escape, and time is crawling by.
The worst case scenario plays in your mind. What if I fail at starting my own business and have to come crawling back to this soul crushing routine? It’s a question we are all asking ourselves constantly. What if I fail? What I like to do with the moms I work with is explore that question and answer it. So yes, what if you fail at starting your own business and have to go crawling back to that soul crushing work routine? The answer is that you’ll be right where you are right now, sitting at your desk watching the clock counting down the minutes until you can escape, and I want that to sink in just for a second.
If you try to start a business and it fails, whatever that means, you will have to go back to doing exactly what you’re doing right now. Which means to some degree you’re failing right now by going to a soul crushing work routine day after day. And I know you feel it because I felt it too, the dread you feel to start the day carries into everything else and has a ripple effect. You’re not able to be present with loved ones because you’re constantly thinking about work. You’re judging yourself that you’re still there, instead of exploring what you’re truly capable of.
You’re looking at friends or family who aren’t in corporate and making excuses as to why it must be so much easier for them instead of you. They don’t have kids, their husband actually helps, they went to school for business. Staying at a job you hate sounds a lot like failing to me. And I’m sure it feels like failing to you too, or you wouldn’t be listening, desperate to change your circumstances.
Now, listen, leaving your job to pursue an entrepreneurial venture is not a decision to take lightly. And on this podcast I plan to give you tons of tools and resources to help you do it in a way that’s financially and practically safe. But one of the first obstacles to get past is the resistance from even trying because of the possibility of failure. When we see the worst case scenario as going back to the life we’re currently living, that’s a reality check that it’s worth trying because, hey, we’re currently living this life, so we know what to expect.
Fear of failure is a common thread among all of us, especially moms considering the shift out of corporate life. We’re so consumed by the what ifs that we forget all about the what could be’s. What if there is a chance that you do something truly amazing? What if you finally feel like work isn’t work anymore? What if you create a life you truly love? What if you could finally balance motherhood and a career? What if you never had to request time off when your kid was sick or needed to go to the doctor? The dream.
That’s the life that so many mom entrepreneurs are currently living and here’s the best part. They are no different than you. I remember being stuck in a career for 10 long years, constantly questioning my path. I had a degree in counseling, and I found myself leading a sales team in the ed tech space. If I hadn’t taken the leap to start my own business, I’d still be drowning in misery, resentment, and a victim mentality on a daily basis. But I had no way of knowing that this is where I’d be in my business.
All I could see is that I would be giving up a safe six figure paycheck and everything I knew. All I could see were all the reasons my personality and skills were not cut out to be an entrepreneur. I was so afraid and certain of failure, and it held me back for six years. Six years that I had been thinking about starting my own coaching practice and instead stayed in my corporate role. And then it dawned on me, the worst case scenario is that I give it a try. It doesn’t work out. I make no money and I go back to leading a sales team in the ed tech space. That’s when I knew the risk I was obsessing over was not that big of a risk.
I could always fall back on what I knew and what I had spent over 10 years of my career doing. So why do we hold ourselves back? Our brains are wired to protect us, to keep us safe and comfortable, and we are so grateful to our brains because that’s why humans are not extinct. It’s that hyper focus on safety that has kept us alive, but it creeps in during moments that really aren’t all that dangerous and that’s when we need to challenge our thinking. Staying comfortable feels good in the moment, well, sometimes, I guess, not so much if you’re miserable at your job each day. That’s not comfortable.
But staying comfortable also means we are not growing, we’re not evolving, we’re just existing. And for so many of the moms I’ve worked with it’s an existence that they aren’t too proud of. When we avoid trying something new because we’re afraid of failure we are failing ahead of time. But more importantly, if we never try, we’ll never know what we’re capable of. We need to increase our tolerance for failure so we can find out what we’re truly capable of.
I know there are at least a few of you out there who have moments when you question what you’re doing and whether you could be adding more value to the world and the answer is yes. If you are barely existing in a job you hate, you absolutely are capable of more. And think about it like this, life is a game. And when we avoid trying something new because we’re afraid of failing, it’s like forfeiting before you even step onto the field. You’re not giving yourself the chance to win. You’re not giving yourself the opportunity to learn, to grow, to evolve.
And I want to touch on the benefits of trying because let’s assume you fail and end up in the shoes you’re currently wearing, but you gave it a good old college try. My husband hates when I say that. And actually, it might be the phrase, nothing to write home about, but you’ll find out that I’m pretty bad at phrases either way. But even if your business fails, there are countless skills and lessons you’ll gain along the way, time management, decision making, confidence building, expanding your network. These are just a few of the invaluable benefits of stepping out of your comfort zone.
It’s not just about starting a business, it’s about embracing every opportunity for growth and self-discovery. So, what is failure really? Is it not making enough money? Is it not immediately replacing your income? Is it not achieving instant success or is it failing to live a life you can be proud of? Is it living a life in a career that is so crushing when you know you’re capable of more? For me, it used to be that success was money. That’s the right answer. It wasn’t until I left my corporate job and started my own business and yes, did not immediately replace my six figure income that I realized success was so much more than money.
Success is starting my day at 10:00am so that I can get my son Adley to daycare and work out before starting my day. Success is taking off a random Wednesday for a date day to visit the DC museums. Success is spending a month in Buenos Aires with my family and continuing to work and see clients, but not once ask anyone for permission. Success is keeping Adley home from daycare because he’s sick and not getting questioned by my manager. Success is a lot of things, it’s not just money.
And yes, I realize that money is a tool that we all need in our society, but there are so many ways to create money. But it’s easy to shut off that part of our brain that sees it and is creative because we’re afraid of failing. So, it’s important to understand what success actually means for you, and what failure actually means for you. These terms seem so objective, but they actually couldn’t be more subjective. When we’re aware of what success and failure mean, we know more about what is most important to us in our daily lives.
I talked about increasing our tolerance for failure before, and I want to revisit that because if you’re going to start your own business, success is going to be on the other side of a bunch of little failures. So how do we increase our tolerance for those little failures, the ones where we are learning about what doesn’t work so we can get a little bit closer to the secret sauce of what does? I hate to break it to you, but the only way to build our tolerance for failure is by failing. It’s a muscle that we have to work every day, or at least five times a week.
We don’t like failure, so this will be hard for so many of you, but it’s imperative. Try to find situations where you’re able to fail. Ask for a table at a restaurant when you know they’ll say no. Do something that you’re not good at and look silly. Do something every day that feels like failure. It’s not going to be easy. This is something that I try to do and challenge some of my clients to do, and it’s hard. We are so used to not failing that we don’t even know how to purposefully fail, especially the high achieving women I work with.
But recognize places and situations that allow you to fail so that you can manage the yuck you’re feeling that comes with it, the self-doubt, the embarrassment, the shame, all the things. If you’re willing to fail, it means you’re willing to try. And if you’re willing to try, you have a chance to truly change your life and find out what you’re capable of. There are so many more tools and strategies that I have to share to make the transition realistic and safe, yes, safe. So, keep tuning in to get those nuggets that will inspire you.
Next week, we’re going to be talking about something concrete that everyone loves, concrete planning and what goes into picking a transition date. Yes, we’re going to be thinking critically about picking a date that we can work towards, which I know will scare the hell out of everyone but stay with me. This is a practical and meaningful step in the process. It’s a way to start rewiring your brain so that you’re geared towards making this happen. We’re starting to shift from thinking to taking action.
So let me leave you with this. Are you willing to embrace failure as a necessary part of your journey? Are you willing to take the risk and play the game, knowing that the rewards far outweigh the risks?
That’s all for today’s episode. Thank you for joining me on this journey of empowerment and transformation. And until next time, remember to embrace failure because that’s where the magic is going to happen. Thanks for tuning in. I’ll see you next week.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. If you want to learn more about how I can help you stop making excuses and start making moves, head on over to www.jenna.coach. I’ll see you next week.
Hello mom friends. I am so glad you’re here. Welcome back to How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. I’m your host, Jenna Rykiel. And I’m here to empower moms like you who know 100% that they need to lead the life of nine to five, but are not sure they have the tools to actually make it happen and be successful in a life of entrepreneurship.
I’m here to give you those tools and the tools that you need, whether it be mindset shifts or business tips so that you can build the confidence, vision, plan, and systems to start taking action to make money on your own terms. I want you to be able to show up in your career and in motherhood, feeling like the superhero that you are. But too often an inflexible and unsupportive corporate job can get in the way. Too many of us are absolutely miserable, exhausted, and dreading the day before we even wake up. And I’m here to say that it doesn’t have to be that way.
So, let’s dive right in with a mindset shift that really rocked my world when I was first deciding whether to start a business and leave my corporate role in sales leadership. It was a reckoning with failure and the realization that I had been misunderstanding the role failure plays in my life and business. This isn’t the first or last time I talk about failure on this podcast because it’s a critical part of the experience of trying anything new
And it’s also important to recognize that failure holds so many of us back from taking action and pursuing big goals. But what’s so interesting is that when we fail to start in order to avoid failure, we’re still failing, it’s just considered failing ahead of time. I want you to imagine you’re sitting at your desk in your corporate job and maybe you’re listening to this while you’re at your desk, so there’s not much room for imagination. But you’re staring at the clock counting down the minutes until you escape, and time is crawling by.
The worst case scenario plays in your mind. What if I fail at starting my own business and have to come crawling back to this soul crushing routine? It’s a question we are all asking ourselves constantly. What if I fail? What I like to do with the moms I work with is explore that question and answer it. So yes, what if you fail at starting your own business and have to go crawling back to that soul crushing work routine? The answer is that you’ll be right where you are right now, sitting at your desk watching the clock counting down the minutes until you can escape, and I want that to sink in just for a second.
If you try to start a business and it fails, whatever that means, you will have to go back to doing exactly what you’re doing right now. Which means to some degree you’re failing right now by going to a soul crushing work routine day after day. And I know you feel it because I felt it too, the dread you feel to start the day carries into everything else and has a ripple effect. You’re not able to be present with loved ones because you’re constantly thinking about work. You’re judging yourself that you’re still there, instead of exploring what you’re truly capable of.
You’re looking at friends or family who aren’t in corporate and making excuses as to why it must be so much easier for them instead of you. They don’t have kids, their husband actually helps, they went to school for business. Staying at a job you hate sounds a lot like failing to me. And I’m sure it feels like failing to you too, or you wouldn’t be listening, desperate to change your circumstances.
Now, listen, leaving your job to pursue an entrepreneurial venture is not a decision to take lightly. And on this podcast I plan to give you tons of tools and resources to help you do it in a way that’s financially and practically safe. But one of the first obstacles to get past is the resistance from even trying because of the possibility of failure. When we see the worst case scenario as going back to the life we’re currently living, that’s a reality check that it’s worth trying because, hey, we’re currently living this life, so we know what to expect.
Fear of failure is a common thread among all of us, especially moms considering the shift out of corporate life. We’re so consumed by the what ifs that we forget all about the what could be’s. What if there is a chance that you do something truly amazing? What if you finally feel like work isn’t work anymore? What if you create a life you truly love? What if you could finally balance motherhood and a career? What if you never had to request time off when your kid was sick or needed to go to the doctor? The dream.
That’s the life that so many mom entrepreneurs are currently living and here’s the best part. They are no different than you. I remember being stuck in a career for 10 long years, constantly questioning my path. I had a degree in counseling, and I found myself leading a sales team in the ed tech space. If I hadn’t taken the leap to start my own business, I’d still be drowning in misery, resentment, and a victim mentality on a daily basis. But I had no way of knowing that this is where I’d be in my business.
All I could see is that I would be giving up a safe six figure paycheck and everything I knew. All I could see were all the reasons my personality and skills were not cut out to be an entrepreneur. I was so afraid and certain of failure, and it held me back for six years. Six years that I had been thinking about starting my own coaching practice and instead stayed in my corporate role. And then it dawned on me, the worst case scenario is that I give it a try. It doesn’t work out. I make no money and I go back to leading a sales team in the ed tech space. That’s when I knew the risk I was obsessing over was not that big of a risk.
I could always fall back on what I knew and what I had spent over 10 years of my career doing. So why do we hold ourselves back? Our brains are wired to protect us, to keep us safe and comfortable, and we are so grateful to our brains because that’s why humans are not extinct. It’s that hyper focus on safety that has kept us alive, but it creeps in during moments that really aren’t all that dangerous and that’s when we need to challenge our thinking. Staying comfortable feels good in the moment, well, sometimes, I guess, not so much if you’re miserable at your job each day. That’s not comfortable.
But staying comfortable also means we are not growing, we’re not evolving, we’re just existing. And for so many of the moms I’ve worked with it’s an existence that they aren’t too proud of. When we avoid trying something new because we’re afraid of failure we are failing ahead of time. But more importantly, if we never try, we’ll never know what we’re capable of. We need to increase our tolerance for failure so we can find out what we’re truly capable of.
I know there are at least a few of you out there who have moments when you question what you’re doing and whether you could be adding more value to the world and the answer is yes. If you are barely existing in a job you hate, you absolutely are capable of more. And think about it like this, life is a game. And when we avoid trying something new because we’re afraid of failing, it’s like forfeiting before you even step onto the field. You’re not giving yourself the chance to win. You’re not giving yourself the opportunity to learn, to grow, to evolve.
And I want to touch on the benefits of trying because let’s assume you fail and end up in the shoes you’re currently wearing, but you gave it a good old college try. My husband hates when I say that. And actually, it might be the phrase, nothing to write home about, but you’ll find out that I’m pretty bad at phrases either way. But even if your business fails, there are countless skills and lessons you’ll gain along the way, time management, decision making, confidence building, expanding your network. These are just a few of the invaluable benefits of stepping out of your comfort zone.
It’s not just about starting a business, it’s about embracing every opportunity for growth and self-discovery. So, what is failure really? Is it not making enough money? Is it not immediately replacing your income? Is it not achieving instant success or is it failing to live a life you can be proud of? Is it living a life in a career that is so crushing when you know you’re capable of more? For me, it used to be that success was money. That’s the right answer. It wasn’t until I left my corporate job and started my own business and yes, did not immediately replace my six figure income that I realized success was so much more than money.
Success is starting my day at 10:00am so that I can get my son Adley to daycare and work out before starting my day. Success is taking off a random Wednesday for a date day to visit the DC museums. Success is spending a month in Buenos Aires with my family and continuing to work and see clients, but not once ask anyone for permission. Success is keeping Adley home from daycare because he’s sick and not getting questioned by my manager. Success is a lot of things, it’s not just money.
And yes, I realize that money is a tool that we all need in our society, but there are so many ways to create money. But it’s easy to shut off that part of our brain that sees it and is creative because we’re afraid of failing. So, it’s important to understand what success actually means for you, and what failure actually means for you. These terms seem so objective, but they actually couldn’t be more subjective. When we’re aware of what success and failure mean, we know more about what is most important to us in our daily lives.
I talked about increasing our tolerance for failure before, and I want to revisit that because if you’re going to start your own business, success is going to be on the other side of a bunch of little failures. So how do we increase our tolerance for those little failures, the ones where we are learning about what doesn’t work so we can get a little bit closer to the secret sauce of what does? I hate to break it to you, but the only way to build our tolerance for failure is by failing. It’s a muscle that we have to work every day, or at least five times a week.
We don’t like failure, so this will be hard for so many of you, but it’s imperative. Try to find situations where you’re able to fail. Ask for a table at a restaurant when you know they’ll say no. Do something that you’re not good at and look silly. Do something every day that feels like failure. It’s not going to be easy. This is something that I try to do and challenge some of my clients to do, and it’s hard. We are so used to not failing that we don’t even know how to purposefully fail, especially the high achieving women I work with.
But recognize places and situations that allow you to fail so that you can manage the yuck you’re feeling that comes with it, the self-doubt, the embarrassment, the shame, all the things. If you’re willing to fail, it means you’re willing to try. And if you’re willing to try, you have a chance to truly change your life and find out what you’re capable of. There are so many more tools and strategies that I have to share to make the transition realistic and safe, yes, safe. So, keep tuning in to get those nuggets that will inspire you.
Next week, we’re going to be talking about something concrete that everyone loves, concrete planning and what goes into picking a transition date. Yes, we’re going to be thinking critically about picking a date that we can work towards, which I know will scare the hell out of everyone but stay with me. This is a practical and meaningful step in the process. It’s a way to start rewiring your brain so that you’re geared towards making this happen. We’re starting to shift from thinking to taking action.
So let me leave you with this. Are you willing to embrace failure as a necessary part of your journey? Are you willing to take the risk and play the game, knowing that the rewards far outweigh the risks?
That’s all for today’s episode. Thank you for joining me on this journey of empowerment and transformation. And until next time, remember to embrace failure because that’s where the magic is going to happen. Thanks for tuning in. I’ll see you next week.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. If you want to learn more about how I can help you stop making excuses and start making moves, head on over to www.jenna.coach. I’ll see you next week.
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