115. Friendships That Fuel Growth: How Moms Can Expand Their Circle
If you’re trying something new, like starting a business outside your 9-5, not everyone around you will understand or get excited about your ambitions. Some friends might see your goals as risky, while others may steer the conversation back to familiar topics. If you can relate, it might be time to expand your circle to include people who understand, who think bigger, and who encourage you to succeed.
In this episode, I share why cultivating a network of friends who focus on growth is so important for mom entrepreneurs. These are people who get excited about new ideas, take risks, and are actively building something themselves. I explore how the conversations you have over coffee, dinner, or even on the sidelines at a soccer game can influence your mindset, your creativity, and your motivation in ways you might not realize.
I also offer practical tips for finding and nurturing relationships that support your growth and help you take confident action. You’ll hear why expanding your circle matters, how to identify the people who can help you think bigger, and ways to create a support system that fuels your business and life.
If you're looking for the right environment to start your networking journey, look no further than my group, the Mom Entrepreneur’s Circle. Sign up here for mutual support, advice sharing, and the tools you need for both you and your business to thrive.
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why the people you surround yourself with shape what feels possible in your life and business.
Ways to expand your circle to include people who understand and encourage your ambitions.
How conversations with the right people can influence your mindset, creativity, and motivation.
Practical tips for nurturing relationships that help you take confident action.
How to create a support system that fuels both your business and personal life.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Episodes Related to How Moms Can Expand Their Circle:
7. The Transformative Power of Networking for Mom Entrepreneurs
34. Build Your Board of Directors: Strategic Support for Busy Moms
Full Episode Transcript:
I want to start today with a question. Have you ever left dinner with someone feeling lighter than when you arrived? Feeling more hopeful, more energized, like suddenly your own goals felt a little more possible? Or maybe you've had the opposite experience, where you leave feeling emotionally exhausted and drained, like you've spent two hours talking about everything that's wrong in the world.
I think the people we surround ourselves with have a much bigger impact on our lives than we realize. And a few months ago, I had a dinner that reminded me of exactly why.
Welcome to How to Quit Your Job, the podcast for moms ready to ditch the nine-to-five and build a life and business they love. I’m your host, Jenna Rykiel. Let’s go.
Hi, mom friends. A few months ago, I went to dinner with a group of moms from my neighborhood. We've been living here for about a year now. We moved from Maryland to Denver about a year ago, and I had been invited into this monthly mom's dinner where we try different restaurants that are all walkable from our neighborhood. And honestly, I thought it sounded like such a fun way to get to know other moms in the neighborhood.
At that first dinner that I attended, we went around the table and we did informal introductions. One by one, I learned I was sitting with a medical doctor, a child psychiatrist, a pediatric dentist, a dentist, an aerospace engineer, and a geologist. As I looked around the table and realized how wildly accomplished these women were, not to mention how kind and welcoming and genuinely fun they were, I felt two things at the exact same time. First, I felt incredibly grateful. And second, I felt, of course, a little intimidated.
I remember thinking, wow, these women are amazing. And then almost immediately, I thought, how lucky am I to live within a block of all of them? Not just because it's incredibly convenient to have someone to text about a medical question or my kids' teeth when problems exist, but because we're all in similar seasons of life. We have similar values. We're raising kids around the same age. We're all building lives we're proud of.
And I couldn't stop thinking about something I've always believed, because I think many of us have some degree of that. But I couldn't stop thinking about this quote that I heard, I believe maybe from Tim Ferriss, from his podcast, maybe back in the day, but it's something I've always believed, that you are the average of the people you spend the most time with.
I remember walking home that night from dinner with these moms, these new mom friends that I had, thinking, these women are going to raise my average. Not because they're doctors or engineers necessarily, but because they're moms who dream big, moms who have worked really hard, moms who are intellectually curious, moms who are supportive and interesting, moms who really when I'm around them make me want to become an even better version of myself.
We're having real conversations with depth and talking about things that matter, how we raise our kids. They weren't raising my average because of their resumes. They were raising my average because of the conversations that we were having. Every month when I have dinner with these women, we all walk home together. We all live within a block. But when I do the last stretch back to my house by myself, I'm always glowing. I'm always smiling. I'm always feeling so energized.
And I'll get into my house and I'll go upstairs and Chris, my husband will usually be already in bed trying to fall asleep, and I'll wake him up and I'll tell him all these stories from dinner. Amazing things about things that these women have shared, funny stories, really cool stories, interesting things. And I find myself wanting to live more fully when I come home from those dinners. I find myself wanting to live bigger. I find myself wanting to find more people that light me up like the moms in my neighborhood.
And that's what I want to talk about today more fully. Because I don't think we spend enough time thinking about the people we surround ourselves with. The people we surround ourselves with, they shape the conversations we have. They shape what feels possible. They shape our perspective on life. And honestly, they shape how much joy or frustration we experience.
And if you're listening to this podcast, there's a good chance you're doing something or you want to do something that not everyone around you will understand. Not everyone around you will fully support. Not everyone around you thinks is possible or thinks is a good decision. Starting a business after years in a traditional 9-to-5 is ambitious. Some people are going to think it's amazing. Others are going to think it's risky. Some may even tell you that they think you're crazy. And that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. It simply means your business and probably your confidence will benefit from expanding your circle to include people who do understand.
People who do think bigger, people who do love these crazy ideas, people who do want to see you succeed. People who are also building something, people who might be taking risks, people who get excited talking about new ideas.
Because the conversations you have over coffee, over dinner, or even while you might be standing on the sidelines of your kid's soccer game have more influence over your life than we often realize. I have both kinds of people in my life. I think we all do. Though, I will say, one of the reasons we moved to Denver is because we know that this is a place where people come because they want to live here. It is a lot of people who are not from here. It's a lot of people who chose to leave really robust families, really robust networks to be somewhere that they actually want to be, a place where they are choosing to raise their kids.
Colorado is a place with a lot to offer, a lot of exciting activities, a lot of interesting people. And one of the ways that we wanted to live bigger and we wanted to expand and make our inner circle richer was to be in a place like this. And so, I will say that I am so grateful to live where I live and also it was a choice and it was a hard choice. There was a lot of costs that came with this choice and with this move.
But so much of what I'm going to talk about today in this episode is about the importance of doing that, whatever level of doing that is. It might not be moving to another state or moving at all. It might just be putting yourself out there with different groups of people, which I'll talk about. But I just want to mention that I'm thinking about this and have been thinking about this in a very intentional way and we've made some big decisions in our life to support being around and surrounding ourselves with people who raise our average.
But I do have both kinds of people in my life. I have people I love dearly who aren't particularly interested in what I'm building. And I have people who are incredible cheerleaders for my work. Old friends and new friends who are incredible cheerleaders, people who regularly refer clients to me, people who remember exciting things that I'm doing like events and launches and people who ask thoughtful questions about those things.
With one group, I can have dinner with them and they'll ask, so, how's work going? And I'll answer and that's kind of where it ends. No follow-up questions, no real curiosity. The conversation quickly moves back to something else. Sometimes those conversations are also pretty complaint-heavy, maybe complaining about work or spouses or life or kids. And with another group, the conversation feels completely different.
In a group of true cheerleaders and supporters and people who make me a better version of myself, these people also ask thoughtful questions, and then they ask thoughtful follow-up questions. They are genuinely curious. They text me when things are happening in my business to check in. They celebrate wins with me. And just as importantly, they tell me what they're excited about too in their own life. They're building businesses or building something or doing new things or trying new hobbies. They're chasing goals. They're learning new things.
And I have just as many questions for them. And those conversations leave me energized. And I hope you have conversations like that in your life as well. I leave those conversations wanting to do better. I wanting to dream bigger, wanting to think differently. Just the other day, I went to a networking event for mom entrepreneurs. It's a monthly event that I go to about 15 minutes from my house. And a woman was there, she introduced herself, she talked about her business, and it was the most amazing business. I'm actually going to have her on the podcast in a month or two.
The business is called Roam Collective and she travels, takes families abroad for a month in the summer. And her company does everything, right? They set them up, they find the places, they create the community, they plan the itinerary. And they also set up summer camp for kids. And this is amazing because it combines travel, it combines the headaches that we all go through with summer and having to plan summer camps for kids.
And I left that conversation, you know, I met her, I was inspired by her. I immediately went up to her afterwards and got her information and was just so excited about this. I immediately texted again, my husband Chris, and I said, oh my gosh, you're not going to believe who I just met and what she's doing and this is fabulous. And actually, we are planning to attend one of the months next year in 2027 as part of the Collective.
But it leaves me buzzing for the rest of the day. It leaves me excited about life when I meet people like this and when I'm engaged in conversations. Now, that person isn't necessarily a bestie of mine. We've maybe exchanged a couple of texts back and forth or emails back and forth, maybe five total. And still that conversation gets me feeling excited.
Now, this doesn't mean that the people who I love who aren't cheerleaders in my life need to be cut out of my life. That's not at all what I'm saying. It simply means that I don't want those to be the only conversations I'm having. So the conversations that I mentioned that feel a little surface level, maybe they're complaint heavy, venting heavy, they're not really robust in terms of exploring what's going on really with my life and business. I just don't want those to be the only conversations I'm having and I don't want those to be the only conversations or types of conversations you're having.
I want to intentionally make room for people who challenge me and encourage me, who make growth feel normal and exciting. Because that's really what this is about. That's what this episode is about. It's not finding better friends or replacing friends that may not know how to fully support you in this new venture. It's about building a richer circle.
I was reminded of the importance of this all recently while I was coaching a client. She originally came to me because she wanted help starting a business and transitioning out of a 9-to-5. And before we talked about marketing, before we talked about offers or niche or any of the business pieces or strategy, our coaching went in a completely different direction. We spent almost the entire first month talking about her friendships.
She told me something that absolutely broke my heart, that no one around her was ambitious in the same way that she was. Most of her family and friends complained about work, accepted things the way they were, and honestly, gave her a hard time whenever she talked about her goals and dreams of doing more and starting a business. She also came from an area or lives in an area where it's more common and acceptable for moms to be stay-at-home moms.
So the idea of her working and creating something of her own just wasn't met with the excitement that she was looking for. It was mostly met with skepticism and questions and doubt and comments that were constantly having her question herself and wonder if she was being realistic and doing the right thing. I'm happy to say, luckily, her husband has the same ambitious drive and excitement and is a big dreamer like her. So she at least had him, but she really wanted other moms, other women in her life that could lift her up and light her up.
And everything for her shifted when she joined coaching. Not because I taught her some magical business strategy, but a lot of it was because she suddenly found herself in a room full of women who believed what she wanted was possible. Not just possible, but almost that she was even selling herself short with the goals she did have. What she wanted wasn't just possible. It's like everybody in that room saw so much further beyond what she saw was possible.
I've mentioned before in this podcast that as part of the 101 coaching that I do, I also have all of my clients meet as a group once a week. And this client was blown away by the ambition, the drive, the accomplishments, and the goals of the other moms in the group. And it raised her average. And then she became obsessed with the idea of expanding her circle so that she was surrounded by more moms like the ones in the coaching community.
It doesn't take necessarily a new best friend or months or years to absorb some positive impact from new inspiring relationships. It can happen in just one conversation. And so that's what I encouraged her to do. That's what she set out to do. That's where I think so much of her growth came from within coaching was even just seeing it possible to bring in new relationships that would inspire her and light her up, that they do exist, right? And then the positive impact of those on her life.
So I want you to think about your own inner circle as you're listening today. And I want you to think about who do you interact with on a regular basis who leaves you feeling energized? I want you to think about who makes your goals and dreams feel possible. I want you to think about the people that you talk with on a weekly or monthly basis or the ones you interact with just in passing, like maybe you have a quick coffee chat with somebody. And I want you to think about who celebrates your growth and your accomplishments instead of questioning them.
I want you to also think about who in your life makes you want to become a better version of yourself. Who inspires you? Who do you hear stories from and you think to yourself, I want to be more like this person.
I'll tell you a quick story. There is a man that I climb with. His name is John and he is 75. And he is such a role model. He is climbing, right? He's 75. He climbs with me. He's my belay partner. He flies glider planes. He was a mountaineer and he has wonderful stories about different mountains that he's climbed. He has crazy stories about different planes that he's flown and where he's flown and where he's traveled. And I feel like every day that I climb with him, I get new stories and learn new things. He doesn't even have kids. He's definitely not a mom, but I still get so fired up being around him. He has actually inspired me to start my own ground school lessons to hopefully fly one day and become a pilot, which has been a lifelong dream of mine. I feel like he was put in my life for a very important reason, or mainly so that I end up doing this thing I've always dreamed of.
But it doesn't have to be a mom. It doesn't have to be a woman. It doesn't have to be somebody that you build a full lifelong relationship with. But I want you to have people in your life who you look at them or you listen to them and you interact with them and it makes you want to live a fuller life.
So I want you to think about that for yourself. I also want you to ask yourself, where could you meet more of those people? If you don't have a John in your life and if you don't have a group of mom neighborhood moms in your life who raise your average, I want you to think, what can I do to meet more of those people? Just like my client really needed to find more of those people and create more of those relationships in her life, it's up to each of us to find those people if they aren't already in our world.
So maybe it's joining a mastermind, maybe it's joining a coaching program like my client that I just talked about did. Maybe it's joining a local mom's group. Maybe it's finally introducing yourself to another mom at the playground. If you are not close with other moms in your neighborhood or neighbors or anything like that, sometimes you have to be the person who goes first, even if you're an introvert like me. Sometimes you have to be the person to organize things, to send the text message.
Maybe it's attending an entrepreneur meetup, even before becoming an entrepreneur, just show up. And I promise you'll be welcomed with open arms, just talking about what you want to do. Maybe it's reaching out to someone you've admired online, somebody who maybe posts pictures about their travel or their life that really inspires you and you just reach out for coffee.
Sometimes these connections and these friendships happen by luck, like I would say the dinner group I found, although actually I sent my husband on many walks on the neighboring block where most of these moms live because he's the extrovert of the partnership and I told him that we needed to become friends with these people. And so he did a good job.
But sometimes it does happen just organically and by luck. And sometimes they happen because we're willing to be the one who goes first. We're willing to introduce ourself. We send the text message, we organize the coffee group meetup. We do the thing that no one else is doing. We go first. We become the one who creates the kind of community that we've been wishing for, that we wish existed. Like we have to create that. Someone has to be brave enough to make that first move and that person can be you.
I know that even in my son's preschool, I wasn't shy to get everybody's number and make sure that we all hung out as parents and I don't see myself as a planner at all, but I do see myself as someone who likes creating connection and who likes building relationships. And that was important to me. It has to be you. Don't wait for others to be the ones to go first. I want you to put yourself out there and make these connections.
I also keep thinking back to that dinner, that first dinner with these moms and that intimidated me entirely for a moment, but mostly that created so much gratitude in me. I was grateful that I found a room full of women who expanded what felt possible for me, a room where ambition felt normal, where curiosity felt normal, where support felt like a given, where becoming a better version of myself was the topic of conversation. That's the kind of room, those are the kind of people I want to keep choosing and keep investing time in and keep investing energy in because it's those spaces and those rooms and those people who give me the most energy. And I know that it's possible for you to find those rooms, to find those people, to find those conversations that give you energy as well.
So my challenge for you today is simple. I want you to take inventory of your circle. I want you to ask yourself all those questions from before. Think about who leaves you feeling lighter, who helps to make you think bigger, who reminds you of the person that you're trying to become, right? Who helps you get there? Like, who are those people in your life right now? And are you spending enough time with them? Are you soaking up all the goodness that they have to give to you and all the energy that they can give to you? And if you need more of those people because you're not having enough of those conversations that light you up, the conversations that I've gone into detail about today, go find them.
Because I promise they're out there. They might not be next door like my group is, but they might be online. They might be at a meetup across town. They might be in a virtual meetup. They might be in your family. They might already be in your friend group. You just maybe have not had enough time exploring it.
And I promise that one conversation can change everything. One conversation can energize you fully. One person can ignite a fire in you. Like the mom that I told you about who started Roam Collective, like I don't even keep in touch with her that often and she has ignited a fire in me in so many ways. So much excitement for next summer, so much excitement for the possibility of the freedom and flexibility of entrepreneurship and travel. I know so many of my clients and so many people I talk to want to travel more as really a life value and what she's doing is amazing and really opening the doors for so many people to do that. So it can be just one person that can ignite a fire in you.
I want you to find the people for your life that help you to completely redefine what feels possible. I want you to find the people who believe in you before you believe in you. Start surrounding yourself with people who maybe intimidate you a little, like my new group of friends, but who also inspire you a lot. Start surrounding yourself with people who are going to raise your average and know that if you're struggling to find those people, amazing moms and myself meet every other week in the Mom Entrepreneur Circle. It's completely free and it's an opportunity to have the most inspiring conversations and witness the most inspirational women.
So, if you do not have a space already, if you are answering those questions that I had you reflect on and you're saying like, I need more of this in my life, feel free to start there. It is such a safe space to come and hear what amazing moms are doing and to also have people believe in you before you might believe in you. If your life is missing that, go to the show notes at jenna.coach/115, the number 115, and sign up. Join us. We meet every other week. And so that is an opportunity and I promise you there are so many more opportunities out there.
There's also another really great episode that I'll put in the show notes as well, Episode seven, so one of my originals that I love and it's all about the power of networking. That episode is really great for what to do when you do find these people, how to not be so awkward and how to really dig deep into these relationships.
Okay, I hope you have friends and people in your life who light you up and who support you and who cheer you on. It's okay to have people in your life who don't quite understand what you're doing. We need those people too. But I really hope that you find people that you can surround yourself with who increase your average and raise your average and who just light you up and ignite a fire in you on a regular basis. Okay, moms. I will see you next week.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. If you want to learn more about how I can help you stop making excuses and start making moves, head on over to www.jenna.coach. I’ll see you next week.
I think the people we surround ourselves with have a much bigger impact on our lives than we realize. And a few months ago, I had a dinner that reminded me of exactly why.
Welcome to How to Quit Your Job, the podcast for moms ready to ditch the nine-to-five and build a life and business they love. I’m your host, Jenna Rykiel. Let’s go.
Hi, mom friends. A few months ago, I went to dinner with a group of moms from my neighborhood. We've been living here for about a year now. We moved from Maryland to Denver about a year ago, and I had been invited into this monthly mom's dinner where we try different restaurants that are all walkable from our neighborhood. And honestly, I thought it sounded like such a fun way to get to know other moms in the neighborhood.
At that first dinner that I attended, we went around the table and we did informal introductions. One by one, I learned I was sitting with a medical doctor, a child psychiatrist, a pediatric dentist, a dentist, an aerospace engineer, and a geologist. As I looked around the table and realized how wildly accomplished these women were, not to mention how kind and welcoming and genuinely fun they were, I felt two things at the exact same time. First, I felt incredibly grateful. And second, I felt, of course, a little intimidated.
I remember thinking, wow, these women are amazing. And then almost immediately, I thought, how lucky am I to live within a block of all of them? Not just because it's incredibly convenient to have someone to text about a medical question or my kids' teeth when problems exist, but because we're all in similar seasons of life. We have similar values. We're raising kids around the same age. We're all building lives we're proud of.
And I couldn't stop thinking about something I've always believed, because I think many of us have some degree of that. But I couldn't stop thinking about this quote that I heard, I believe maybe from Tim Ferriss, from his podcast, maybe back in the day, but it's something I've always believed, that you are the average of the people you spend the most time with.
I remember walking home that night from dinner with these moms, these new mom friends that I had, thinking, these women are going to raise my average. Not because they're doctors or engineers necessarily, but because they're moms who dream big, moms who have worked really hard, moms who are intellectually curious, moms who are supportive and interesting, moms who really when I'm around them make me want to become an even better version of myself.
We're having real conversations with depth and talking about things that matter, how we raise our kids. They weren't raising my average because of their resumes. They were raising my average because of the conversations that we were having. Every month when I have dinner with these women, we all walk home together. We all live within a block. But when I do the last stretch back to my house by myself, I'm always glowing. I'm always smiling. I'm always feeling so energized.
And I'll get into my house and I'll go upstairs and Chris, my husband will usually be already in bed trying to fall asleep, and I'll wake him up and I'll tell him all these stories from dinner. Amazing things about things that these women have shared, funny stories, really cool stories, interesting things. And I find myself wanting to live more fully when I come home from those dinners. I find myself wanting to live bigger. I find myself wanting to find more people that light me up like the moms in my neighborhood.
And that's what I want to talk about today more fully. Because I don't think we spend enough time thinking about the people we surround ourselves with. The people we surround ourselves with, they shape the conversations we have. They shape what feels possible. They shape our perspective on life. And honestly, they shape how much joy or frustration we experience.
And if you're listening to this podcast, there's a good chance you're doing something or you want to do something that not everyone around you will understand. Not everyone around you will fully support. Not everyone around you thinks is possible or thinks is a good decision. Starting a business after years in a traditional 9-to-5 is ambitious. Some people are going to think it's amazing. Others are going to think it's risky. Some may even tell you that they think you're crazy. And that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. It simply means your business and probably your confidence will benefit from expanding your circle to include people who do understand.
People who do think bigger, people who do love these crazy ideas, people who do want to see you succeed. People who are also building something, people who might be taking risks, people who get excited talking about new ideas.
Because the conversations you have over coffee, over dinner, or even while you might be standing on the sidelines of your kid's soccer game have more influence over your life than we often realize. I have both kinds of people in my life. I think we all do. Though, I will say, one of the reasons we moved to Denver is because we know that this is a place where people come because they want to live here. It is a lot of people who are not from here. It's a lot of people who chose to leave really robust families, really robust networks to be somewhere that they actually want to be, a place where they are choosing to raise their kids.
Colorado is a place with a lot to offer, a lot of exciting activities, a lot of interesting people. And one of the ways that we wanted to live bigger and we wanted to expand and make our inner circle richer was to be in a place like this. And so, I will say that I am so grateful to live where I live and also it was a choice and it was a hard choice. There was a lot of costs that came with this choice and with this move.
But so much of what I'm going to talk about today in this episode is about the importance of doing that, whatever level of doing that is. It might not be moving to another state or moving at all. It might just be putting yourself out there with different groups of people, which I'll talk about. But I just want to mention that I'm thinking about this and have been thinking about this in a very intentional way and we've made some big decisions in our life to support being around and surrounding ourselves with people who raise our average.
But I do have both kinds of people in my life. I have people I love dearly who aren't particularly interested in what I'm building. And I have people who are incredible cheerleaders for my work. Old friends and new friends who are incredible cheerleaders, people who regularly refer clients to me, people who remember exciting things that I'm doing like events and launches and people who ask thoughtful questions about those things.
With one group, I can have dinner with them and they'll ask, so, how's work going? And I'll answer and that's kind of where it ends. No follow-up questions, no real curiosity. The conversation quickly moves back to something else. Sometimes those conversations are also pretty complaint-heavy, maybe complaining about work or spouses or life or kids. And with another group, the conversation feels completely different.
In a group of true cheerleaders and supporters and people who make me a better version of myself, these people also ask thoughtful questions, and then they ask thoughtful follow-up questions. They are genuinely curious. They text me when things are happening in my business to check in. They celebrate wins with me. And just as importantly, they tell me what they're excited about too in their own life. They're building businesses or building something or doing new things or trying new hobbies. They're chasing goals. They're learning new things.
And I have just as many questions for them. And those conversations leave me energized. And I hope you have conversations like that in your life as well. I leave those conversations wanting to do better. I wanting to dream bigger, wanting to think differently. Just the other day, I went to a networking event for mom entrepreneurs. It's a monthly event that I go to about 15 minutes from my house. And a woman was there, she introduced herself, she talked about her business, and it was the most amazing business. I'm actually going to have her on the podcast in a month or two.
The business is called Roam Collective and she travels, takes families abroad for a month in the summer. And her company does everything, right? They set them up, they find the places, they create the community, they plan the itinerary. And they also set up summer camp for kids. And this is amazing because it combines travel, it combines the headaches that we all go through with summer and having to plan summer camps for kids.
And I left that conversation, you know, I met her, I was inspired by her. I immediately went up to her afterwards and got her information and was just so excited about this. I immediately texted again, my husband Chris, and I said, oh my gosh, you're not going to believe who I just met and what she's doing and this is fabulous. And actually, we are planning to attend one of the months next year in 2027 as part of the Collective.
But it leaves me buzzing for the rest of the day. It leaves me excited about life when I meet people like this and when I'm engaged in conversations. Now, that person isn't necessarily a bestie of mine. We've maybe exchanged a couple of texts back and forth or emails back and forth, maybe five total. And still that conversation gets me feeling excited.
Now, this doesn't mean that the people who I love who aren't cheerleaders in my life need to be cut out of my life. That's not at all what I'm saying. It simply means that I don't want those to be the only conversations I'm having. So the conversations that I mentioned that feel a little surface level, maybe they're complaint heavy, venting heavy, they're not really robust in terms of exploring what's going on really with my life and business. I just don't want those to be the only conversations I'm having and I don't want those to be the only conversations or types of conversations you're having.
I want to intentionally make room for people who challenge me and encourage me, who make growth feel normal and exciting. Because that's really what this is about. That's what this episode is about. It's not finding better friends or replacing friends that may not know how to fully support you in this new venture. It's about building a richer circle.
I was reminded of the importance of this all recently while I was coaching a client. She originally came to me because she wanted help starting a business and transitioning out of a 9-to-5. And before we talked about marketing, before we talked about offers or niche or any of the business pieces or strategy, our coaching went in a completely different direction. We spent almost the entire first month talking about her friendships.
She told me something that absolutely broke my heart, that no one around her was ambitious in the same way that she was. Most of her family and friends complained about work, accepted things the way they were, and honestly, gave her a hard time whenever she talked about her goals and dreams of doing more and starting a business. She also came from an area or lives in an area where it's more common and acceptable for moms to be stay-at-home moms.
So the idea of her working and creating something of her own just wasn't met with the excitement that she was looking for. It was mostly met with skepticism and questions and doubt and comments that were constantly having her question herself and wonder if she was being realistic and doing the right thing. I'm happy to say, luckily, her husband has the same ambitious drive and excitement and is a big dreamer like her. So she at least had him, but she really wanted other moms, other women in her life that could lift her up and light her up.
And everything for her shifted when she joined coaching. Not because I taught her some magical business strategy, but a lot of it was because she suddenly found herself in a room full of women who believed what she wanted was possible. Not just possible, but almost that she was even selling herself short with the goals she did have. What she wanted wasn't just possible. It's like everybody in that room saw so much further beyond what she saw was possible.
I've mentioned before in this podcast that as part of the 101 coaching that I do, I also have all of my clients meet as a group once a week. And this client was blown away by the ambition, the drive, the accomplishments, and the goals of the other moms in the group. And it raised her average. And then she became obsessed with the idea of expanding her circle so that she was surrounded by more moms like the ones in the coaching community.
It doesn't take necessarily a new best friend or months or years to absorb some positive impact from new inspiring relationships. It can happen in just one conversation. And so that's what I encouraged her to do. That's what she set out to do. That's where I think so much of her growth came from within coaching was even just seeing it possible to bring in new relationships that would inspire her and light her up, that they do exist, right? And then the positive impact of those on her life.
So I want you to think about your own inner circle as you're listening today. And I want you to think about who do you interact with on a regular basis who leaves you feeling energized? I want you to think about who makes your goals and dreams feel possible. I want you to think about the people that you talk with on a weekly or monthly basis or the ones you interact with just in passing, like maybe you have a quick coffee chat with somebody. And I want you to think about who celebrates your growth and your accomplishments instead of questioning them.
I want you to also think about who in your life makes you want to become a better version of yourself. Who inspires you? Who do you hear stories from and you think to yourself, I want to be more like this person.
I'll tell you a quick story. There is a man that I climb with. His name is John and he is 75. And he is such a role model. He is climbing, right? He's 75. He climbs with me. He's my belay partner. He flies glider planes. He was a mountaineer and he has wonderful stories about different mountains that he's climbed. He has crazy stories about different planes that he's flown and where he's flown and where he's traveled. And I feel like every day that I climb with him, I get new stories and learn new things. He doesn't even have kids. He's definitely not a mom, but I still get so fired up being around him. He has actually inspired me to start my own ground school lessons to hopefully fly one day and become a pilot, which has been a lifelong dream of mine. I feel like he was put in my life for a very important reason, or mainly so that I end up doing this thing I've always dreamed of.
But it doesn't have to be a mom. It doesn't have to be a woman. It doesn't have to be somebody that you build a full lifelong relationship with. But I want you to have people in your life who you look at them or you listen to them and you interact with them and it makes you want to live a fuller life.
So I want you to think about that for yourself. I also want you to ask yourself, where could you meet more of those people? If you don't have a John in your life and if you don't have a group of mom neighborhood moms in your life who raise your average, I want you to think, what can I do to meet more of those people? Just like my client really needed to find more of those people and create more of those relationships in her life, it's up to each of us to find those people if they aren't already in our world.
So maybe it's joining a mastermind, maybe it's joining a coaching program like my client that I just talked about did. Maybe it's joining a local mom's group. Maybe it's finally introducing yourself to another mom at the playground. If you are not close with other moms in your neighborhood or neighbors or anything like that, sometimes you have to be the person who goes first, even if you're an introvert like me. Sometimes you have to be the person to organize things, to send the text message.
Maybe it's attending an entrepreneur meetup, even before becoming an entrepreneur, just show up. And I promise you'll be welcomed with open arms, just talking about what you want to do. Maybe it's reaching out to someone you've admired online, somebody who maybe posts pictures about their travel or their life that really inspires you and you just reach out for coffee.
Sometimes these connections and these friendships happen by luck, like I would say the dinner group I found, although actually I sent my husband on many walks on the neighboring block where most of these moms live because he's the extrovert of the partnership and I told him that we needed to become friends with these people. And so he did a good job.
But sometimes it does happen just organically and by luck. And sometimes they happen because we're willing to be the one who goes first. We're willing to introduce ourself. We send the text message, we organize the coffee group meetup. We do the thing that no one else is doing. We go first. We become the one who creates the kind of community that we've been wishing for, that we wish existed. Like we have to create that. Someone has to be brave enough to make that first move and that person can be you.
I know that even in my son's preschool, I wasn't shy to get everybody's number and make sure that we all hung out as parents and I don't see myself as a planner at all, but I do see myself as someone who likes creating connection and who likes building relationships. And that was important to me. It has to be you. Don't wait for others to be the ones to go first. I want you to put yourself out there and make these connections.
I also keep thinking back to that dinner, that first dinner with these moms and that intimidated me entirely for a moment, but mostly that created so much gratitude in me. I was grateful that I found a room full of women who expanded what felt possible for me, a room where ambition felt normal, where curiosity felt normal, where support felt like a given, where becoming a better version of myself was the topic of conversation. That's the kind of room, those are the kind of people I want to keep choosing and keep investing time in and keep investing energy in because it's those spaces and those rooms and those people who give me the most energy. And I know that it's possible for you to find those rooms, to find those people, to find those conversations that give you energy as well.
So my challenge for you today is simple. I want you to take inventory of your circle. I want you to ask yourself all those questions from before. Think about who leaves you feeling lighter, who helps to make you think bigger, who reminds you of the person that you're trying to become, right? Who helps you get there? Like, who are those people in your life right now? And are you spending enough time with them? Are you soaking up all the goodness that they have to give to you and all the energy that they can give to you? And if you need more of those people because you're not having enough of those conversations that light you up, the conversations that I've gone into detail about today, go find them.
Because I promise they're out there. They might not be next door like my group is, but they might be online. They might be at a meetup across town. They might be in a virtual meetup. They might be in your family. They might already be in your friend group. You just maybe have not had enough time exploring it.
And I promise that one conversation can change everything. One conversation can energize you fully. One person can ignite a fire in you. Like the mom that I told you about who started Roam Collective, like I don't even keep in touch with her that often and she has ignited a fire in me in so many ways. So much excitement for next summer, so much excitement for the possibility of the freedom and flexibility of entrepreneurship and travel. I know so many of my clients and so many people I talk to want to travel more as really a life value and what she's doing is amazing and really opening the doors for so many people to do that. So it can be just one person that can ignite a fire in you.
I want you to find the people for your life that help you to completely redefine what feels possible. I want you to find the people who believe in you before you believe in you. Start surrounding yourself with people who maybe intimidate you a little, like my new group of friends, but who also inspire you a lot. Start surrounding yourself with people who are going to raise your average and know that if you're struggling to find those people, amazing moms and myself meet every other week in the Mom Entrepreneur Circle. It's completely free and it's an opportunity to have the most inspiring conversations and witness the most inspirational women.
So, if you do not have a space already, if you are answering those questions that I had you reflect on and you're saying like, I need more of this in my life, feel free to start there. It is such a safe space to come and hear what amazing moms are doing and to also have people believe in you before you might believe in you. If your life is missing that, go to the show notes at jenna.coach/115, the number 115, and sign up. Join us. We meet every other week. And so that is an opportunity and I promise you there are so many more opportunities out there.
There's also another really great episode that I'll put in the show notes as well, Episode seven, so one of my originals that I love and it's all about the power of networking. That episode is really great for what to do when you do find these people, how to not be so awkward and how to really dig deep into these relationships.
Okay, I hope you have friends and people in your life who light you up and who support you and who cheer you on. It's okay to have people in your life who don't quite understand what you're doing. We need those people too. But I really hope that you find people that you can surround yourself with who increase your average and raise your average and who just light you up and ignite a fire in you on a regular basis. Okay, moms. I will see you next week.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. If you want to learn more about how I can help you stop making excuses and start making moves, head on over to www.jenna.coach. I’ll see you next week.
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