37. How to Achieve Your Goals + Who You Need to Become

Have you ever set a big, audacious goal for yourself, only to find yourself stuck in the same place months or even years later? You're not alone. The truth is, staying exactly as you are in this moment is what's holding you back from achieving your biggest dreams. So, what’s the solution?

In this episode, we dive into the crucial question of "Who do I need to become to achieve my goals?" We explore how focusing on who you need to be, rather than just what you need to do, can be the key to unlocking massive transformation in your life and business.

By the end of this episode, you'll have a clear framework for identifying the characteristics and mindset shifts required to become the version of yourself that can proudly cross those big goals off your list this year. Get ready to take a powerful step forward on the journey to achieving your dreams!


Ready to start your networking journey? Join us every 2nd Thursday for my free Mom Entrepreneurs Circle. Sign up below for support, advice sharing, and the tools you need for both you and your business to thrive.


What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why focusing on who you need to become is more important than just what you need to do.

  • How to identify the key characteristics of someone who has already achieved your goal.

  • How to practice embodying the characteristics you need in both tangible and intangible ways.

  • Why celebrating small shifts and giving yourself grace is crucial in the transformation process.

  • How to ensure your goals and the person you need to become align with your authentic self.

  • The power of weekly check-ins to reflect on how you're showing up differently.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

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  • Brooke Castillo

Full Episode Transcript:

A little over six months ago, I was sitting in the office at my parents' house because my house was undergoing renovations. I was very pregnant, staring at my computer screen with my finger hovering over the share button on LinkedIn. My hand was literally shaking as I looked at the post I'd written with a less than attractive selfie of myself after a recent recording session. My heart was racing and I had this thought that had been haunting me for years, who am I to start a podcast?

Today, we're gonna talk about understanding who we are in this moment and who we need to become in order to achieve these amazing goals we set out for ourselves. Right? We're going to answer the who-am-I question, because staying exactly as you are in this moment is absolutely what's holding you back from achieving your biggest goals.

By the end of this episode, you'll have a clear framework for not only identifying who you need to become to achieve your goals, but more importantly, exactly how to make that transformation happen so that you can proudly cross those big audacious goals off the list this year, and hopefully faster than you thought possible.

Welcome to How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. It’s a podcast that helps working moms just like you, optimize your time, manage your mind, and start a business that helps you create more freedom, flexibility, and, yes, fun. I’m business and mindset coach Jenna Rykiel. And I offer practical tips to help you ditch the nine-to-five. I have been exactly where you are and I know what it takes to make the transition without trading one form of burnout for another. So, let’s get started.

Hi mom friends, as always, I'm glad you're here taking some time to yourself to listen to this podcast. This podcast has been around for a little over six months, but the story of this podcast expands years prior to that. When I sat at my computer that first week of June in 2024, when this podcast launched, it was after years of having, “Start a podcast…” on my goals list. And for years it stayed an unachieved goal. And it wasn't because I didn't have the technical pieces figured out or because I didn't have time. Though those were top-of-mind excuses for many years, the biggest obstacle was that I was trying to achieve a completely new result while staying exactly the same person.

The real breakthrough came when I stopped focusing on all the things I needed to do, right, like get a microphone, figure out a recording software, create a name and content calendar, all those little details. And instead, I started focusing on who I needed to become. Right? When we figure out who we need to become and how we need to change to be the type of version of ourselves that has realized our goals, and we actually practice being that version of ourselves ahead of time, then we start to show up differently for ourselves and our business.

We take new actions that create new results. Think about it. Every major transformation in your life, becoming a mother, earning your degree, building your corporate career, wasn't just about checking off tasks. It was about becoming a different version of yourself. The tasks and actions are just the external evidence of that internal shift.

I've always said that motherhood and entrepreneurship are two of the best personal development journeys in disguise. That child is external proof that you're a mother, but it's much more about the shifts that have happened within you that really define motherhood. And as we all know, it's constant daily evolution that's happening within us as we're faced with new challenges and victories as moms.

And this is also true in entrepreneurship. The Business itself is external proof that you're a business owner, but it's the shifts that have happened within you to become the person who owns a business that are so much more important. Building a business isn't just about learning marketing strategies or sales techniques. It's about becoming someone who thinks differently than you do right now.

In a lot of ways to be a successful entrepreneur means you think differently about money. You see some expenses as investments in yourself and your business. You see ROI, right, the return on investment. Successful entrepreneurs think differently about failure. They see failure as an opportunity for learning and seeing what doesn't work as a way to get closer to figuring out what does work. Successful entrepreneurs have the courage to be visible even when it's uncomfortable.

When you focus on becoming that person first, the actions you need to take become clearer and surprisingly easier. And this isn't just a tool for building a business. This question of who you need to become is helpful for literally any type of goal.

If you want to run a marathon, but haven't started working out yet, you need to probably become more consistent with workouts, right? Maybe you need to become a morning person. Maybe you need to be someone who actually likes running before you can run a marathon.

Right now, you're a person who has created certain results in your life. Some of those results you love and they are great, but there are also results you haven't created. And the person you are right now is a person who hasn't created certain results. So today we're going to figure out how to close the gap so that you become the type of person who does create the desired results you want in your life, whatever those goals might be. So here are some practical steps to figure out who you need to become.

Okay first I want you to think about your current goal. Maybe you want to create a certain amount of revenue in your business. Maybe you want to officially leave corporate. Maybe you want to spend more time with your family. Maybe you want to run a marathon. Whatever it is, think about it. Write it down. If you have the luxury of listening to this without too much else going on, but at least think about that goal.

Okay, then I want you to list three characteristics of someone who has already achieved this goal. It might be helpful to actually think about someone you know, maybe not personally, but someone you admire or look up to that has achieved the goal you're looking to achieve. Pick out three characteristics that you potentially lack in this moment that the person who has achieved that goal has.

Okay. So for me, there have been a lot of coaches I've worked with that I look up to and admire for the way they've built their businesses and the way they've designed their podcasts. So I might think of Brooke Castillo, someone who has a very successful coaching business, a wildly successful podcast and someone who only works three days a week and dedicates so much time to reflection and living a conscious and deliberate life as a mom. All things I want to model in my own life, right?

So if I'm thinking about her, characteristics wise, she's confident, consistent, and comfortable with visibility. And that's even though she's an introvert, which we're going to touch on in next week's episode.

Okay. So once we have this person that we admire and look up to and who has achieved what we want to achieve, then think about that list of characteristics, the gap between where you are now and where you need to be. And rate yourself from one to 10 on each characteristic, one being needs work and 10 being I've got this, right? Hopefully none of the characteristics are a 10. Well, hopefully all of the characteristics are a 10 eventually, but right now we're looking at the ones that you lack.

For me, and this is my rating before I started my podcast because the podcast has certainly helped me grow in all these areas. Of course, becoming more of the version of myself who has a podcast. But I would rate myself a four out of 10 for confidence as it pertains to you know sharing my expertise publicly. I had done workshops and was hosting the Mom Entrepreneur Circle but I still felt a bit shy, constantly distracted about what other people would think when I was sharing my ideas, right? So I'd give myself a four out of 10 for confidence.

I'd give myself a three out of 10 with consistency, especially with content creation. I was all over the place. I tried different forms of content and social media but nothing was consistent. And I'd rate myself a two out of 10 with comfort being visible and sharing. I still struggle to share more personally in life and business, but I know that's something that helps moms to feel connected to me and to ultimately build trust, but sharing just doesn't come natural.

I'm terrible even at announcing important life updates in my personal life like when I'm pregnant. I feel like people have to find out everything through the grapevine so I apologize to all of those people in my life who never hear anything directly from me. So this brings us to figuring out how to close that gap and start to shift your identity right how do we go from a two and get closer to a 10 with comfort being visible.

Unfortunately just because you've created the LLC doesn't mean you all of a sudden know what you're doing and start seeing yourself as a business owner. Just because you have the LLC doesn't mean you've become a business owner. It takes time and intention to actually shift your identity.

For me, I remember finally feeling like a real business owner, not when I got my LLC, that just felt like paperwork, but the first time a client had a breakthrough and thanked me for helping her see her own potential, that moment changed how I saw myself and my work. Right, similarly, it's easy to think that becoming a mom happens in a moment, right? But just because you're all of a sudden holding that baby after 36 hours of labor, doesn't mean we've fully shifted into that identity. For most of us, if not all of us, we still very much feel like we have no idea what we're doing.

And the truth is both motherhood and business success happen in very small moments, small daily moments of growth. Whether you're learning to pitch your services, set boundaries with clients or show up on social media, it all takes time and practice. So think about the three characteristics and identify the one with the biggest gap, whichever characteristic you rated the lowest, and this will be your first area of focus.

For me it's the two out of 10. The visibility and sharing openly about my life and business. We're just going to focus on one at a time because too many can feel overwhelming. Right? Once you have that characteristic that you want to embody, we want to find ways to practice it. This is a skill. This is a muscle. I recommend practicing it in both tangible and intangible ways. Right?

Tangible practice can be something like practicing a daily mantra Journaling or you know taking daily or weekly actions that literally flex that muscle. For me in my goal to be visible I may decide to write on a post-it note a mantra like authentic connection requires vulnerability, right? Or people want to hear your story, reminding myself of that.

If you're working on confidence in sales, your mantra might be, my services create real value for others. If you're working on setting boundaries, try protecting my time, helps me serve others better. Or I may decide to challenge myself weekly, like I said, to make it a point to share more personal stories in each week's podcast episode or be more vulnerable in my weekly newsletter to flex and build that muscle that needs to get stronger so that I get closer to the version of myself that is skilled at sharing vulnerably.

Now, remember, I'm aiming to be someone who shares more vulnerably because that is a part of the person I need to become in order to achieve my goal of, in this case, a successful podcast. We're not expecting big massive shifts immediately. We're here to celebrate all the tiny shifts and that may also mean giving yourself grace and time to become the person that you need in order to reach a specific goal. The magic happens in those tiny shifts.

So make sure that you are celebrating them. Each week ask yourself, what's one way I showed up differently? Maybe you spoke up in a meeting when you usually stay quiet. Maybe you posted about your business on social media when you usually hold back. These are small wins that compound over time.

And this is what it's all about, right? These small shifts compounding over time so that you get closer to the version of yourself that you need to be to achieve whatever is next. There's no such thing as an overnight success and there is no such thing as you becoming that different version of yourself overnight.

Which also leads me to the next really important point, which is that you need to choose characteristics and goals that make you a better version of yourself, not someone else entirely or someone you don't want to be. This is something that often comes up with my clients because we're always setting goals. And before we get into the business of going after these goals, I want to know your why. Why you want to achieve the goal will help us understand whether the goal itself is aligned or not with the person you want to become.

Let me share a story about one of my clients just recently that really brings this point home. She set a goal of making $200k in her business. I'm sure we can all relate to an innocent revenue goal, right? She wanted coaching around sales, marketing, how to be more productive, all the things. She was ready to hustle for that goal. But when I asked her why she wanted to make $200k, it was so that she could spend more time with her husband and son.

Trust me when I say in no new universe do you need to make $200k to spend more time with your kids and partner. I promise in fact striving to make $200k without the proper self-awareness and boundaries will do just the opposite. She was ready to become someone who makes $200k, but it was a version of herself that she didn't want to be.

That doesn't mean we take $200k off the goals list, quite the opposite. Instead, what we do is figure out ways she can spend more time with her partner and son now. For this client that meant taking half days every Wednesday to be with her son and planning date nights into the schedule with her partner.

You can make $200k in your business and be the version of yourself that you want to be, but that only happens if you know your why for each of your goals. We want to make sure our goals and the person we need to become to reach that goal is a better version of ourselves. For me to be more confident, consistent, and comfortable with sharing, those are all characteristics I can see impacting my life positively in so many different areas.

When you do that weekly check-in with yourself and you ask yourself, what's one way I showed up differently, I also want you to ask yourself how did this change feel? Did it align with who I want to become? Am I proud of myself for how I showed up differently? This helps ensure you're growing in a direction that feels authentic to you.

So I want you to remember your transformation doesn't happen when you achieve the goal. It happens in all the small moments leading up to it. You need to become a new version of yourself, a better version of yourself in order to reach the goals you set out for yourself this year. If you could reach those goals as the person you are now, you would have already reached the goals.

I didn't become a podcast host overnight even though externally I had a podcast. It's in the ways that I've practiced becoming more confident, consistent, and openly visible with my audience before and after that first podcast aired.

So what I want you to spend time thinking about this week is consider the next goal you're working towards. I want you to dig deep and consider why that goal is important for you to achieve. Does that goal help you to get closer to a better version of yourself? If yes, I want you to identify two to three characteristics that you need in order to achieve that goal. Decide one area to focus on. I recommend the one with the biggest gap and figure out ways that you can practice and start building that muscle. Ways that you can start becoming that person who is more consistent, who is more of a morning person, who is someone who loves running so that you can run that marathon.

Next week, I'm sharing my strategy for networking as an introvert, okay, including the exact steps I took to go from being the person who would break into a literal sweat, introducing myself, to confidently leading group programs. I want you to tune in, especially if you know that to reach your goal, you need to be more outgoing and confident in groups.

And listen, the mom who started listening to this episode isn't the same mom who's finishing it. You're already becoming someone new just by being here and I'm so grateful that you're here. Keep showing up and I will absolutely see you next week.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. If you want to learn more about how I can help you stop making excuses and start making moves, head on over to www.jenna.coach. I’ll see you next week.

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