Curbing Negative Self-Talk

Jul 15

It’s easy to be our own biggest critic, but it rarely helps us improve. Negative self-talk can be a default response that can send us into a downward emotional spiral that makes it difficult to be our best selves. Below are a few tips for taking control of negative self-talk and turning it around;

Turn “I always” or “I never” into just “this time” or “sometimes” - Our actions are unique to the situation in front of us, no matter how often we think we mess up. When we stop beating ourselves up for every mistake, we’ll stop making problems bigger than they really are.
Replace judgmental statements like “I’m an idiot” with factual ones like “I made a mistake” - Thoughts that attach a permanent label to you leave no room for improvement. Factual statements are objective, situational, and help you to focus on what you can change.
Think like a friend - Often we'll say things to ourselves in our heads that we'd never say to a friend. Why not reverse this and—when you catch yourself speaking negatively in your head—make it a point to imagine what a friend might say to you, or what you would say to a friend in a similar situation.
Talk about it - If you’re struggling to think like a friend, call on one instead. Telling a trusted friend the negative thoughts out loud can often lead to a good laugh and shine a light on how false some of our negative self-talk can be. At the very least, it can bring support and an alternate perspective.
Accept responsibility for your actions and no one else’s - The blame game and negative self-talk go hand in hand. If you are someone who often thinks either it’s “all my fault” or “it’s all their fault” you are wrong most of the time. It is commendable to accept responsibility for your actions, but not when you carry someone else’s burden. Likewise, if you’re always blaming others, it’s time to take responsibility for your part.