5 Reasons to Ask for Help
TL:DR - Asking for help is one of the MOST human things we can do. So why is it so hard? Asking for help benefits everyone involved. Read more to find out why asking for help is beneficial for you and everyone involved.
People feel useful and trusted
Lightens your workload, while getting more done
Develops a Growth Mindset
Prioritizes collaboration and teamwork
Shows self-awareness and confidence
Engaging in coaching is another way to ask for help. If you are feeling stuck, Schedule a Free Discovery Session today and learn more about how coaching can help.
“…engaging in the process of both asking for and receiving help, and building the network actually elevates people’s emotional energy and decreases their negative energy.” - excerpt from the book, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World
Asking for help is an incredibly powerful part of being human. Life isn't easy, which I'm sure we can all agree on. The difficulties of life may look different for everyone, but there's one simple truth that we often forget-- we weren't meant to go at it alone. Humans are creatures of community and it was group problem solving and support that has gotten us to where we are today.
So why is it so hard to ask for help?
We often perceive that asking for help is selfish or a sign of incompetence. We may be judged negatively if we admit that we need help. In some cultures, asking for help is so taboo that clients' biggest hesitation to moving forward with coaching is that their loved ones will find out they sought help. We are under a lot of pressure to appear that we have everything under control, but the reality is that we could all use a little help. I’d like to convince you in this article that,
Not only is asking for help NOT selfish, it’s the most selfless thing you can do. And it’s NOT a sign of incompetence, it’s actually a sign of confidence and self-awareness.
Stay with me here because I think I may have lost a few people…
The truth is that when we ask for help, other people are benefiting equally, if not more than we are. While the obvious benefits are that our workload is decreasing, which helps us to prevent burnout, trusting someone on your team to take over a task or project shows that person that you trust and value their work. The trust that can be built from delegating important tasks is an incredible way for leaders to prioritize collaboration and teamwork. Even in your personal life, leaning on a friend or family member to help shows you trust them enough to ask for help. It says a lot about them as a friend that they are there when you need it— and that feels really good.
Just think about the last time you helped someone in your life— it felt good, right?
Stop hesitating to give that feeling to someone else.
5 Reasons to Ask for Help
The good feels aren’t the only reason to ask for help. I have five that I think about often and I’m sure there are plenty more that you can uncover in your own life. Let’s break down the five that I find to be the most important and critical.
1. People feel useful and trusted.
Going off of what we just discussed at length, other people benefit from giving help. In a corporate environment, you may be delegating a stretch project to a teammate that will help them land that next promotion. As a manager, I found it to be an incredibly powerful learning opportunity for my team when I took time off and unplugged. I’d challenge myself to do it for long stretches at least once or twice a year and prepare the future leaders on my team for the experience. They got the chance to problem solve on their own, attend meetings I normally attended, and they were forced to be resourceful knowing I was offline. Taking time off and asking for help covering while you’re gone is one of the most organic ways to trust and develop people.
In your personal life, maybe you’re hosting a dinner party with friends but just don’t have the bandwidth to cook so you ask for everyone to bring something. To be honest, your friends probably felt bad that you were doing all the work and are ecstatic to be able to contribute! Connection is one of the ways that we can prevent burnout and creating connection through asking for help is powerful.
2. Lightens your load, while getting more done.
This one is the most obvious and you’d think that it would seal the deal for asking for help. One of the more prominent issues that my clients face each day and week is the inability to get everything done (or at least a feeling that they can’t get everything done). When we look at their workload strategically, there are always at least a handful of daily/weekly tasks that they could be handing off or asking for help on but they just aren’t. It can help to take a step back and look at your work load with the purpose of figuring out what does not have to be yours anymore. Earlier, I mentioned some of the reasons why we don’t ask for help and a lot of it had to do with other people’s opinions— getting more done, while being less stressed is a great look. Workload is an important metric of preventing burnout. If you are feeling like you don’t have enough time in the day, everyday, that feeling of stress can build over time to create burnout. Get ahead of it by understanding your limits and asking for help as you approach it.
3. Prioritizes collaboration and teamwork.
If you’re someone who asks for help, it shows that you value collaboration and teamwork. This ignites a ripple effect with those around you to feel open and willing to ask for help themselves. Everyone wants to be a part of a team, but what’s a team if people aren’t leaning in to help? If you never ask for help, people will feel they shouldn’t be asking for help either. It breeds a culture of judgement and independence— which are both things we need less of here in the United States. Create a culture of collaboration on your teams and in your personal life. Asking for help gives other people permission to do the same. If you tend to be the person who helps, but doesn’t ask for help, people around you probably feel a sense of debt. It’s just the way humans work— ask for help so others feel more comfortable asking you for help when they need it.
Teams that foster a culture of collaboration are less likely to experience burnout, this is because on teams where collaboration and teamwork are valued, connection and delegation are high. This means that all the pressure and stress is not falling on one single person to get it all done.
4. Develops a Growth Mindset.
When we think about asking for help, we don’t often think about praise and feedback as measures to help, but asking for praise and feedback are two powerful ways to get help and direction to learn and grow. A growth mindset is one that accepts challenges and sees failure as a positive learning opportunity. When we are in situations that lend us to ask for help, it means that we are challenging ourselves, which is a good sign for growth. The more we ask for help, the more we feel comfortable taking on bigger challenges that may require assistance. Asking questions to get a better understanding of how to complete a task is also an important way to ask for help. We may hesitate so we don’t appear incompetent, but asking helps us to develop that growth mindset.
5. Shows self-awareness and confidence.
I saved the best for last, at least in my opinion. My FAVORITE THING about asking for help is that, contrary to initial thoughts, it actually shows an incredible amount of confidence and self- awareness. Asking for help means that you know your limits. It means that you can read a team or situation and know what’s best as it pertains to delegating work. It also shows confidence because you are willing to give up a task to develop someone else. Running around stressed and irritable is not a good look. You don’t have to be a hero. I’d say that the heroes are the folks who know how to ask for help and who create community around them.
Self efficacy, or the belief that you are good at what you do, is another data point to understand in order to prevent burnout. If someone does not have the confidence to delegate, there are likely other limiting beliefs holding them back as well. Take the leap to ask for help. As it becomes easier, you’ll know that it’s because you’re becoming more confident and self aware in your role.
If you need help… asking for help… (so meta), coaching can help. Coaching can provide tools and accountability that make asking for help easier and more natural. We don’t often give ourselves the time and space to think through what small actions could relieve some of the stress and pressure from our day, but coaching creates that time and space for clients. Find out how by scheduling a free discovery session. There are also opportunities to test it out with a free first session- just ask!
