8. Managing Your Mind: The Secret Weapon for Building Your Business
The biggest obstacle standing between you and your dream business isn't your job. It isn't your skillset, and it isn't even that you don't have enough time because you're trapped in your nine-to-five. The biggest hurdle you need to overcome in pursuit of your dream business and the life you want to live is your thoughts. Your mindset matters, so it's time to unlock the secret to managing your mind.
Your beautiful brain can be a catalyst for real change in your life. It has the ability to boost your confidence and create exactly what you want. This is about finally getting out of your own way and creating a business that will change your life, and it starts right here.
Tune in this week to discover what's stopping you from creating a business that allows you to ditch the nine-to-five, and what you can do about it. Mastering your mindset will help you in every area of your life, but it's the most powerful accelerator on your journey from employee to entrepreneur, and I give you the practical tools and strategies you need to harness the power of your thoughts and finally begin creating the business of your dreams.
If you're looking for the right environment to start your networking journey, look no further than my group, the Mom Entrepreneurs Circle. Join us for mutual support, advice sharing, and the tools you need for both you and your business to thrive. We meet on the 2nd Thursday of each month and participation is totally free!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why, as working moms, we tend to ignore what we really want.
How your thoughts are creating your everyday reality.
Why mindset work isn't about manifestation or the law of attraction.
The confidence, creativity, and resilience available when you can manage your mind.
Practical ideas and tools to show you how you're holding yourself back.
4 ways to question your thoughts and find a more balanced, empowering perspective.
How to leverage the power of your thoughts to get out of your own way and finally start and grow your own business.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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If you're looking for more support, check out my free Mom Entrepreneurs Circle. We meet monthly and you can click here to sign up!
Moms ReEnergized – my group coaching program to help moms create more time and energy
Full Episode Transcript:
The reality is that the biggest obstacle standing between you and your dream business isn't your job, your skills, or even your time. It's your thoughts. I talk about mindset a lot on this podcast and every day with my clients. Today, we're unlocking the secret to managing your mind, boosting your confidence, and understanding how your beautiful brain can both be a catalyst for change, and also your biggest obstacle to taking that leap into entrepreneurship. All so that you can finally get out of your own way. It's going to be a good one.
Welcome to How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. It’s a podcast that helps working moms just like you, optimize your time, manage your mind, and start a business that helps you create more freedom, flexibility, and, yes, fun. I’m business and mindset coach Jenna Rykiel, and I offer practical tips to help you ditch the nine-to-five. I have been exactly where you are, and I know what it takes to make the transition without trading one form of burnout for another. So, let’s get started.
Hello mom friends, welcome back and thank you so much for listening. I've gotten such positive feedback over the last few weeks from people listening, and it has truly made my heart so full. Please do not be shy, reach out, rate the show, leave a review, if you're enjoying it. It means so much to me. So, as you know, you're in the right place if you're feeling trapped in a 9-5; and if you're dreaming of starting your own business, but feeling overwhelmed by the idea.
As working moms, we often find ourselves caught between the security of our jobs and the desire to create something of our own. For all the wonderful things that motherhood brings, it can also distract us from parts and dimensions of our identity that make us feel alive and light us up. We can become hyper focused on our family and forget about ourselves, and what we need to thrive in this thing called life.
But it's easy to not entertain those parts of ourselves because we can feel like we're constantly running on empty. But the real catalyst to breaking free and building your dream business isn't about how you plan or what actions you take, it's about changing your thoughts. Today, we're diving into a concept that has the power to really transform literally everything in your life. But especially your journey from employee to entrepreneur.
We're going to explore how your thoughts create your reality. And how, by managing your mind, you can build the confidence, creativity, and resilience you need to start and grow your own business. And I promise, this isn't about manifestation or even law of attraction. Although, I am a big fan of law of attraction. This is practical concepts and ideas and tools to help you see how you're holding yourself back, and the motivation to finally get out of your own way.
Alright, let's start with something that might sound a bit strange at first. I know it did for me so many years ago. Your thoughts create your feelings. I know, it might seem like your feelings just happen to you, right? But stick with me here. Because understanding this can really change everything. We think that it's the things happening in our world that create our feelings.
For a long time, I thought that my husband being late to things was what made me mad. It makes sense, right? He says, “I'll be back at a certain time,” and when that time hits, he's not there. So, we got problems. But when I learned this concept, I realized it wasn't him being late, it was my thoughts about him being late.
When he was late, I had the thought, “He doesn't respect my time,” among other things, of course. But yikes, that's a thought that definitely will elicit some rage. But truthfully, I didn't always think that. Sometimes I honestly didn't notice or think twice about it, depending on what I was doing. On those days that he was late, I wasn't outraged. I wasn't thinking about his lateness, and therefore didn't have a feeling one way or the other about it.
The circumstance was the same, he's late, but the feeling was different. Because the thought was different. Which means it's not my husband being late that creates my emotion, it's my thought about him being late that creates the emotion.
Another easy-to-digest example that I like to use; someone being late for a meeting. So, one day I may have a similar thought to the one when my husband is late, that the person doesn't respect my time, which leads me to feeling angry and frustrated. Or maybe their lateness allows me to finally run to the bathroom or scarf down my lunch, which might lead me to feeling grateful or relieved.
Again, the circumstance is the same, someone is late for a meeting, but the feeling is different. It's because the thought is different. Which means that it's not what's happening around us that is creating our feelings, it's our thoughts about what's happening. Which is good news. Because we can always control our thoughts, and we can very rarely control our circumstances or what's happening around us.
So, think of your mind like a storyteller. All day long it's telling you stories about what's happening in your life. These stories are just thoughts. They're the little voice in your head that's constantly chattering away. And these stories, or thoughts, aren't always true. They're just your mind’s way of trying to make sense of the world.
And here's the important part. These thoughts, whether they're true or not, don't really matter. It's about the type of feeling that it creates for us. Honestly, there are either thoughts that serve us or don't serve us. They either create hesitation or excitement, right? Just noticing your thoughts is a huge first step. Because once you can see them, you can start to question them. And when you question them, you open up the possibility of thinking differently. And that means feeling differently, too.
So, remember, your thoughts are just stories your mind is telling you. They're not always true, and you have the power to change them. Which is a lot of the work that I do with clients. I always talk about “default thoughts,” which are the thoughts that just pop up unintentionally. Those can really get in the way of us taking action and believing in ourselves.
But in coaching, we work on changing those defaults, even rewiring our brains, so that when we're faced with a challenge, our default thought is one that recognizes the challenge but creates an empowering story, and probably, usually, a more realistic one. Because when you change your thoughts, you change how you feel. And that can change everything.
You might be wondering, “If I can change my thoughts so easily, why do I keep having these negative ones about starting a business?” Well, here's the thing. It's not necessarily easy to change your thoughts and rewire your brain. Your brain has a very important job, which is to keep you safe.
Think of your brain like an overprotective parent; you know the type. You might be the type. The mom or dad who's always hovering, always worried always imagining the worst case scenario. They mean well, but their constant fretting can hold their kiddo back from experiencing life fully.
If a kid isn't allowed to climb trees, because they might fall… If they can't go to sleepovers, because something bad might happen… And isn't encouraged to try new food because, what if they're allergic? This child might grow up to be overly cautious, afraid to take risks, and maybe even lacking in confidence. They might miss out on fun experiences, struggle to make decisions independently, or even have a hard time dealing with uncertainty.
Now, let's relate that back to your brain and your entrepreneurial journey. Your brain, like those overprotective parents, is trying to keep you safe in your comfortable corporate job. It's saying things like, “You can't start a business. It's too risky. What if you fail and can't provide for your family? You don't have the skills to be an entrepreneur.”
Just like overprotective parents, your brain means well. But also, like those parents, it's holding you back from potentially amazing experiences and growth opportunities that, honestly, you only get by trying yourself. The implications of listening to this overprotective voice can be significant. You might stay stuck in a job that doesn't fulfill you. You might never realize your full potential as an entrepreneur. You might miss out on the personal growth that comes from taking these calculated risks. And you might regret not pursuing your dreams later in life.
But here's the good news. You can choose how much you listen to your overprotective brain. You can acknowledge its concerns, thank it for trying to keep you safe, and then make your own informed decisions. Remember, in the modern world starting a business isn't a life or death risk. It's a calculated opportunity for growth, fulfillment, and success. Yes, there are challenges but with proper planning and the right mindset, these challenges become opportunities to learn and grow.
So, the next time you hear that overprotective voice in your head trying to keep you in your “safe” corporate job, remember that it's just a loving, overprotective parent. Thank your brain for its concern, and then remind yourself, “I'm not a child who needs protection. I'm a capable adult who can assess risks, make smart decisions, and pursue my dreams.” It is time to climb the tree, go to that sleepover, and yes, start the business.
Now that we understand how our thoughts create our feelings, and why our brains are so enthusiastically protective, let's talk about how this impacts our energy levels. Particularly when it comes to building a business while still working at your 9-5. This is important because energy is at a premium for us nowadays. We never feel like we have enough of it. It's easy to feel completely exhausted regularly. But there's a lot more in our control than we like to admit.
I actually created an entire group program, called Moms Reenergized, focused on helping moms create more time and energy, with many of the concepts and exercises I'm talking about today. I'll link more information to that in the show notes, so you can take a look if you're interested in learning more.
But for now, let's think of how the last time you felt really frustrated or trapped in your job. Maybe you had a great business idea, but thought, “I don't have time to work on a side hustle.” How did you feel afterwards? Probably exhausted and demotivated, right? Maybe even a little bit deflated.
On the flip side, if you can think about a time when you felt truly excited about a business idea. Maybe you brainstormed a brilliant marketing strategy, or got great feedback on a product or concept that you've been thinking of. How did you feel then? Probably energized, motivated, ready to conquer the world, right?
Limiting thoughts lead to emotions that drain our energy and hold us back; exhausted, demotivated, deflated. While empowering thoughts lead us to emotions that create energy and propel us forward; energized, motivated, ready to conquer the world. It's so helpful and important to be aware of how your feelings, and therefore thoughts, are impacting your energy levels.
A simple practice is just to reflect, to take a few minutes to think about the energy levels that you have each day in a given day. When do you feel most energized? When do you feel most drained or discouraged? And then, look at what you were thinking in those moments. Once you've identified the maybe regular energy-draining thoughts that you have, you can start to challenge and reframe them.
For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I can't start a business because I'm not tech savvy enough,” you can question that thought and say, “Okay, brain, what does it mean to be tech savvy enough? What is enough? What tech do I think is involved in starting a business? Is it something where I can take a quick course or outsource that part of the business?”
When we start to question that default thought, it opens us up to new actions and ways forward, which can be energizing and give us energy, rather than deplete it. We can then play around with more empowering thoughts. Maybe trying on one like, “I can learn the tech skills I need. I can hire someone to help me with that aspect of the business.” I like to think of thoughts as sort of hats that we just try on and see how they look and feel.
If we're looking for more energy in our days, a great place to start is looking at our thoughts throughout the day and figuring out which ones are draining our energy versus those that are energizing us. And where possible, make sure that we're choosing thoughts that are energizing us more often.
Okay, now that we understand the power of our thoughts on our energy, let's talk about how to actually manage those thoughts. My coach likes to compare our brains to toddlers running around with scissors. They are dangerous if unsupervised. So, here's how we supervise those little critters. Every morning, or whenever you find a few quiet moments… which I know is hard to come by. Maybe create those quiet moments for yourself in the day… I want you to take out a piece of paper and write down every thought you have at that moment.
This is called a “thought download.” When you're starting a business, it's absolutely imperative to do daily, or at least two to three times a week, these thought downloads. Because your brain is going to be running wild with unhelpful thoughts as you are continuing to challenge yourself in different ways. But remember that you can do a thought download and you can do these exercises about anything in your life. It's super helpful with your relationships, with your kids and parenting, truly with anything.
So, don't censor or judge yourself when you're writing down those thoughts. You'll just throw this piece of paper away afterwards, so just let it all out. Once you're done, I want you to read over what you've written. Sometimes it's enough just to look at those made-up sentences on paper to realize how the stories our brain is making up are wildly ineffective and are holding us back.
But I also like to recommend another step that I got from Brené Brown, which is to look at each sentence and either physically or mentally add in the phrase, “The story I'm telling myself is…” before each of the sentences you wrote down. For example, instead of, “I can't start a business because I have kids,” you'd write, “The story I'm telling myself is I can't start a business because I have kids.”
This simple shift creates a bit of space between you and the thought. It helps you to see that thoughts are just sentences in your head, not absolute truths. And once you can see them as sentences, you can start to question and change them. I remember, when I started to challenge myself to say “The story I'm telling myself is…” before the thoughts that didn't serve me, it was such a game changer.
It's especially a game changer in relationships. So, if you're in an argument with your partner, and let's say that I say, “The story I'm telling myself is that you don't respect my time,” it really helps the conversation to move forward. Because I'm admitting that maybe my story is not an absolute truth, which opens up the conversation rather than shutting it down.
I find that the person on the other side tends to be more willing and able to have a conversation when we admit that it's just a story that we're telling ourselves, but we want to let them in on that story.
The next tool I want to talk about is the four questions; this was developed by Byron Katie. And I love, love, love her simple four questions. They are always available to you when you realize that your thoughts need challenging. Okay, so the questions are:
#1: Is it true?
#2: Can I absolutely know that it's true?
#3: How do I react when I believe that thought?
#4: Who would I be without the thought?
So, let's practice with a common thought many aspiring mom entrepreneurs have. Which is, “I don't have enough time to start a business.” Okay, question #1: Is it true? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on how you're currently using your time. I have some clients who, when I talk to them, they say, “I can't possibly add anything to my plate.” And I have some clients who say, “Yeah, I actually could find some time to start the business. I do a lot of TV watching, a lot of social media scrolling.”
Let's move on to question #2: Can I absolutely know that it's true? So, can I absolutely know that it's true that I don't have enough time to start a business? Well, actually, no. Because many busy moms have successfully started businesses, right?
And if you go back and listen to Episode 5, I provide at least four steps, and a bunch of new ways to think about your time, that definitely will challenge this idea that ‘I don't have enough time to start a business.’ So, when we ask ourselves, “Can I absolutely know that it's true?” We lean more towards, “No, I can't absolutely know that this is true.”
Then we move on to question #3: How do I react when I believe that thought? “Well, when I believe the thought that I don't have enough time to start a business, I feel discouraged and don't take any action towards my business goals. Maybe I give up and avoid doing things altogether. That's how I react when I believe the thought that I don't have enough time to start a business.”
The fourth question is: Who would I be without that thought? “Well, if I didn't have the thought that I don't have enough time, I'd be more creative in finding pockets of time for my business, and probably more motivated to prioritize my entrepreneurial dreams.”
I love this fourth question, because every time I ask myself who would I be without the thought that I'm currently having? It's almost like I'm giving myself permission to then be that person. I'm open to the idea that how I am showing up in that moment does not have to be the end of the story. See how powerful this can be? By questioning our thoughts, we can often find more balanced, empowering perspectives that truly support us and our business in new and powerful ways.
So, I'd love for you to commit to a daily practice, or doing these daily exercises of really observing your thoughts, and writing them all down with a good old thought download. Even if it's just for five minutes a day, this simple habit can revolutionize your relationship with your thoughts. And by extension, not just your journey to entrepreneurship, but your energy levels on a day-to-day basis.
As we wrap up today's episode, I want to leave you with a powerful truth. You have the ability to create the entrepreneurial life you dream of starting, right now. It doesn't require waiting for the perfect circumstances or for your kids to be older. It starts with being intentional about your thoughts. So, how do we put all of this into practice to create your dream business? Here is a simple but powerful exercise I want you to try.
#1: Write down your ideal vision for your business. Don't hold back. Really let yourself dream big. What do you want your days to look like? What do you want your income to look like? What do you want your free time to look like? Who do you want to be your clients?
#2: Write down all the thoughts you have about why this vision is not possible. I know your brain will do that; my brain does that on the regular. So, these might be things like, “I don't have enough time. I'm not qualified enough. I can't afford to leave my steady paycheck. I need health insurance.” Write it all down, all of those thoughts of why starting a business is impossible.
Then I want you to look at each of those limiting thoughts and apply the four questions we discussed earlier. And also apply, “The story I'm telling myself…” that we discussed earlier. Really challenge these thoughts and see if they hold up to scrutiny.
For the fourth step, for each of those limiting thoughts, try to come up with a more empowering alternative, a different hat to wear. For example, the ‘I don't have enough time’ could be, “I can start small and gradually dedicate more time to my business as it grows.”
Finally, choose one small action you can take this week that aligns with your business vision, and is supported by your new empowering thoughts. Remember, transitioning from a 9-5 to an entrepreneurial venture isn't about making sweeping changes overnight. No, no, no. It's about consistently choosing thoughts that empower you and taking small, aligned actions every day.
You have so much more power than you realize. Your thoughts create your reality, and they can fuel more energy and action than you even believe possible. All it takes is managing your mind. I hope today's episode has opened your eyes to the incredible power you hold between those two ears of yours. Remember, this transformation from employee to business owner is ongoing, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.
So, if you found value in today's episode, I encourage you to put these concepts into practice. Start with a daily thought download, question those limiting beliefs about starting a business, and choose thoughts that energize and empower you along the way. And don't forget to apply these practices to life outside of your business. It applies to everything.
Don't forget to tune in next week, where we'll be talking about finances and strategies that you can start right now, so money is no longer an excuse that holds you back, but really a part of your business plan to get you confidently to your transition date and beyond. Until then, don't believe everything you think, and take care of yourself. I'll see you next Wednesday.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. If you want to learn more about how I can help you stop making excuses and start making moves, head on over to www.jenna.coach. I’ll see you next week.
Welcome to How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. It’s a podcast that helps working moms just like you, optimize your time, manage your mind, and start a business that helps you create more freedom, flexibility, and, yes, fun. I’m business and mindset coach Jenna Rykiel, and I offer practical tips to help you ditch the nine-to-five. I have been exactly where you are, and I know what it takes to make the transition without trading one form of burnout for another. So, let’s get started.
Hello mom friends, welcome back and thank you so much for listening. I've gotten such positive feedback over the last few weeks from people listening, and it has truly made my heart so full. Please do not be shy, reach out, rate the show, leave a review, if you're enjoying it. It means so much to me. So, as you know, you're in the right place if you're feeling trapped in a 9-5; and if you're dreaming of starting your own business, but feeling overwhelmed by the idea.
As working moms, we often find ourselves caught between the security of our jobs and the desire to create something of our own. For all the wonderful things that motherhood brings, it can also distract us from parts and dimensions of our identity that make us feel alive and light us up. We can become hyper focused on our family and forget about ourselves, and what we need to thrive in this thing called life.
But it's easy to not entertain those parts of ourselves because we can feel like we're constantly running on empty. But the real catalyst to breaking free and building your dream business isn't about how you plan or what actions you take, it's about changing your thoughts. Today, we're diving into a concept that has the power to really transform literally everything in your life. But especially your journey from employee to entrepreneur.
We're going to explore how your thoughts create your reality. And how, by managing your mind, you can build the confidence, creativity, and resilience you need to start and grow your own business. And I promise, this isn't about manifestation or even law of attraction. Although, I am a big fan of law of attraction. This is practical concepts and ideas and tools to help you see how you're holding yourself back, and the motivation to finally get out of your own way.
Alright, let's start with something that might sound a bit strange at first. I know it did for me so many years ago. Your thoughts create your feelings. I know, it might seem like your feelings just happen to you, right? But stick with me here. Because understanding this can really change everything. We think that it's the things happening in our world that create our feelings.
For a long time, I thought that my husband being late to things was what made me mad. It makes sense, right? He says, “I'll be back at a certain time,” and when that time hits, he's not there. So, we got problems. But when I learned this concept, I realized it wasn't him being late, it was my thoughts about him being late.
When he was late, I had the thought, “He doesn't respect my time,” among other things, of course. But yikes, that's a thought that definitely will elicit some rage. But truthfully, I didn't always think that. Sometimes I honestly didn't notice or think twice about it, depending on what I was doing. On those days that he was late, I wasn't outraged. I wasn't thinking about his lateness, and therefore didn't have a feeling one way or the other about it.
The circumstance was the same, he's late, but the feeling was different. Because the thought was different. Which means it's not my husband being late that creates my emotion, it's my thought about him being late that creates the emotion.
Another easy-to-digest example that I like to use; someone being late for a meeting. So, one day I may have a similar thought to the one when my husband is late, that the person doesn't respect my time, which leads me to feeling angry and frustrated. Or maybe their lateness allows me to finally run to the bathroom or scarf down my lunch, which might lead me to feeling grateful or relieved.
Again, the circumstance is the same, someone is late for a meeting, but the feeling is different. It's because the thought is different. Which means that it's not what's happening around us that is creating our feelings, it's our thoughts about what's happening. Which is good news. Because we can always control our thoughts, and we can very rarely control our circumstances or what's happening around us.
So, think of your mind like a storyteller. All day long it's telling you stories about what's happening in your life. These stories are just thoughts. They're the little voice in your head that's constantly chattering away. And these stories, or thoughts, aren't always true. They're just your mind’s way of trying to make sense of the world.
And here's the important part. These thoughts, whether they're true or not, don't really matter. It's about the type of feeling that it creates for us. Honestly, there are either thoughts that serve us or don't serve us. They either create hesitation or excitement, right? Just noticing your thoughts is a huge first step. Because once you can see them, you can start to question them. And when you question them, you open up the possibility of thinking differently. And that means feeling differently, too.
So, remember, your thoughts are just stories your mind is telling you. They're not always true, and you have the power to change them. Which is a lot of the work that I do with clients. I always talk about “default thoughts,” which are the thoughts that just pop up unintentionally. Those can really get in the way of us taking action and believing in ourselves.
But in coaching, we work on changing those defaults, even rewiring our brains, so that when we're faced with a challenge, our default thought is one that recognizes the challenge but creates an empowering story, and probably, usually, a more realistic one. Because when you change your thoughts, you change how you feel. And that can change everything.
You might be wondering, “If I can change my thoughts so easily, why do I keep having these negative ones about starting a business?” Well, here's the thing. It's not necessarily easy to change your thoughts and rewire your brain. Your brain has a very important job, which is to keep you safe.
Think of your brain like an overprotective parent; you know the type. You might be the type. The mom or dad who's always hovering, always worried always imagining the worst case scenario. They mean well, but their constant fretting can hold their kiddo back from experiencing life fully.
If a kid isn't allowed to climb trees, because they might fall… If they can't go to sleepovers, because something bad might happen… And isn't encouraged to try new food because, what if they're allergic? This child might grow up to be overly cautious, afraid to take risks, and maybe even lacking in confidence. They might miss out on fun experiences, struggle to make decisions independently, or even have a hard time dealing with uncertainty.
Now, let's relate that back to your brain and your entrepreneurial journey. Your brain, like those overprotective parents, is trying to keep you safe in your comfortable corporate job. It's saying things like, “You can't start a business. It's too risky. What if you fail and can't provide for your family? You don't have the skills to be an entrepreneur.”
Just like overprotective parents, your brain means well. But also, like those parents, it's holding you back from potentially amazing experiences and growth opportunities that, honestly, you only get by trying yourself. The implications of listening to this overprotective voice can be significant. You might stay stuck in a job that doesn't fulfill you. You might never realize your full potential as an entrepreneur. You might miss out on the personal growth that comes from taking these calculated risks. And you might regret not pursuing your dreams later in life.
But here's the good news. You can choose how much you listen to your overprotective brain. You can acknowledge its concerns, thank it for trying to keep you safe, and then make your own informed decisions. Remember, in the modern world starting a business isn't a life or death risk. It's a calculated opportunity for growth, fulfillment, and success. Yes, there are challenges but with proper planning and the right mindset, these challenges become opportunities to learn and grow.
So, the next time you hear that overprotective voice in your head trying to keep you in your “safe” corporate job, remember that it's just a loving, overprotective parent. Thank your brain for its concern, and then remind yourself, “I'm not a child who needs protection. I'm a capable adult who can assess risks, make smart decisions, and pursue my dreams.” It is time to climb the tree, go to that sleepover, and yes, start the business.
Now that we understand how our thoughts create our feelings, and why our brains are so enthusiastically protective, let's talk about how this impacts our energy levels. Particularly when it comes to building a business while still working at your 9-5. This is important because energy is at a premium for us nowadays. We never feel like we have enough of it. It's easy to feel completely exhausted regularly. But there's a lot more in our control than we like to admit.
I actually created an entire group program, called Moms Reenergized, focused on helping moms create more time and energy, with many of the concepts and exercises I'm talking about today. I'll link more information to that in the show notes, so you can take a look if you're interested in learning more.
But for now, let's think of how the last time you felt really frustrated or trapped in your job. Maybe you had a great business idea, but thought, “I don't have time to work on a side hustle.” How did you feel afterwards? Probably exhausted and demotivated, right? Maybe even a little bit deflated.
On the flip side, if you can think about a time when you felt truly excited about a business idea. Maybe you brainstormed a brilliant marketing strategy, or got great feedback on a product or concept that you've been thinking of. How did you feel then? Probably energized, motivated, ready to conquer the world, right?
Limiting thoughts lead to emotions that drain our energy and hold us back; exhausted, demotivated, deflated. While empowering thoughts lead us to emotions that create energy and propel us forward; energized, motivated, ready to conquer the world. It's so helpful and important to be aware of how your feelings, and therefore thoughts, are impacting your energy levels.
A simple practice is just to reflect, to take a few minutes to think about the energy levels that you have each day in a given day. When do you feel most energized? When do you feel most drained or discouraged? And then, look at what you were thinking in those moments. Once you've identified the maybe regular energy-draining thoughts that you have, you can start to challenge and reframe them.
For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I can't start a business because I'm not tech savvy enough,” you can question that thought and say, “Okay, brain, what does it mean to be tech savvy enough? What is enough? What tech do I think is involved in starting a business? Is it something where I can take a quick course or outsource that part of the business?”
When we start to question that default thought, it opens us up to new actions and ways forward, which can be energizing and give us energy, rather than deplete it. We can then play around with more empowering thoughts. Maybe trying on one like, “I can learn the tech skills I need. I can hire someone to help me with that aspect of the business.” I like to think of thoughts as sort of hats that we just try on and see how they look and feel.
If we're looking for more energy in our days, a great place to start is looking at our thoughts throughout the day and figuring out which ones are draining our energy versus those that are energizing us. And where possible, make sure that we're choosing thoughts that are energizing us more often.
Okay, now that we understand the power of our thoughts on our energy, let's talk about how to actually manage those thoughts. My coach likes to compare our brains to toddlers running around with scissors. They are dangerous if unsupervised. So, here's how we supervise those little critters. Every morning, or whenever you find a few quiet moments… which I know is hard to come by. Maybe create those quiet moments for yourself in the day… I want you to take out a piece of paper and write down every thought you have at that moment.
This is called a “thought download.” When you're starting a business, it's absolutely imperative to do daily, or at least two to three times a week, these thought downloads. Because your brain is going to be running wild with unhelpful thoughts as you are continuing to challenge yourself in different ways. But remember that you can do a thought download and you can do these exercises about anything in your life. It's super helpful with your relationships, with your kids and parenting, truly with anything.
So, don't censor or judge yourself when you're writing down those thoughts. You'll just throw this piece of paper away afterwards, so just let it all out. Once you're done, I want you to read over what you've written. Sometimes it's enough just to look at those made-up sentences on paper to realize how the stories our brain is making up are wildly ineffective and are holding us back.
But I also like to recommend another step that I got from Brené Brown, which is to look at each sentence and either physically or mentally add in the phrase, “The story I'm telling myself is…” before each of the sentences you wrote down. For example, instead of, “I can't start a business because I have kids,” you'd write, “The story I'm telling myself is I can't start a business because I have kids.”
This simple shift creates a bit of space between you and the thought. It helps you to see that thoughts are just sentences in your head, not absolute truths. And once you can see them as sentences, you can start to question and change them. I remember, when I started to challenge myself to say “The story I'm telling myself is…” before the thoughts that didn't serve me, it was such a game changer.
It's especially a game changer in relationships. So, if you're in an argument with your partner, and let's say that I say, “The story I'm telling myself is that you don't respect my time,” it really helps the conversation to move forward. Because I'm admitting that maybe my story is not an absolute truth, which opens up the conversation rather than shutting it down.
I find that the person on the other side tends to be more willing and able to have a conversation when we admit that it's just a story that we're telling ourselves, but we want to let them in on that story.
The next tool I want to talk about is the four questions; this was developed by Byron Katie. And I love, love, love her simple four questions. They are always available to you when you realize that your thoughts need challenging. Okay, so the questions are:
#1: Is it true?
#2: Can I absolutely know that it's true?
#3: How do I react when I believe that thought?
#4: Who would I be without the thought?
So, let's practice with a common thought many aspiring mom entrepreneurs have. Which is, “I don't have enough time to start a business.” Okay, question #1: Is it true? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on how you're currently using your time. I have some clients who, when I talk to them, they say, “I can't possibly add anything to my plate.” And I have some clients who say, “Yeah, I actually could find some time to start the business. I do a lot of TV watching, a lot of social media scrolling.”
Let's move on to question #2: Can I absolutely know that it's true? So, can I absolutely know that it's true that I don't have enough time to start a business? Well, actually, no. Because many busy moms have successfully started businesses, right?
And if you go back and listen to Episode 5, I provide at least four steps, and a bunch of new ways to think about your time, that definitely will challenge this idea that ‘I don't have enough time to start a business.’ So, when we ask ourselves, “Can I absolutely know that it's true?” We lean more towards, “No, I can't absolutely know that this is true.”
Then we move on to question #3: How do I react when I believe that thought? “Well, when I believe the thought that I don't have enough time to start a business, I feel discouraged and don't take any action towards my business goals. Maybe I give up and avoid doing things altogether. That's how I react when I believe the thought that I don't have enough time to start a business.”
The fourth question is: Who would I be without that thought? “Well, if I didn't have the thought that I don't have enough time, I'd be more creative in finding pockets of time for my business, and probably more motivated to prioritize my entrepreneurial dreams.”
I love this fourth question, because every time I ask myself who would I be without the thought that I'm currently having? It's almost like I'm giving myself permission to then be that person. I'm open to the idea that how I am showing up in that moment does not have to be the end of the story. See how powerful this can be? By questioning our thoughts, we can often find more balanced, empowering perspectives that truly support us and our business in new and powerful ways.
So, I'd love for you to commit to a daily practice, or doing these daily exercises of really observing your thoughts, and writing them all down with a good old thought download. Even if it's just for five minutes a day, this simple habit can revolutionize your relationship with your thoughts. And by extension, not just your journey to entrepreneurship, but your energy levels on a day-to-day basis.
As we wrap up today's episode, I want to leave you with a powerful truth. You have the ability to create the entrepreneurial life you dream of starting, right now. It doesn't require waiting for the perfect circumstances or for your kids to be older. It starts with being intentional about your thoughts. So, how do we put all of this into practice to create your dream business? Here is a simple but powerful exercise I want you to try.
#1: Write down your ideal vision for your business. Don't hold back. Really let yourself dream big. What do you want your days to look like? What do you want your income to look like? What do you want your free time to look like? Who do you want to be your clients?
#2: Write down all the thoughts you have about why this vision is not possible. I know your brain will do that; my brain does that on the regular. So, these might be things like, “I don't have enough time. I'm not qualified enough. I can't afford to leave my steady paycheck. I need health insurance.” Write it all down, all of those thoughts of why starting a business is impossible.
Then I want you to look at each of those limiting thoughts and apply the four questions we discussed earlier. And also apply, “The story I'm telling myself…” that we discussed earlier. Really challenge these thoughts and see if they hold up to scrutiny.
For the fourth step, for each of those limiting thoughts, try to come up with a more empowering alternative, a different hat to wear. For example, the ‘I don't have enough time’ could be, “I can start small and gradually dedicate more time to my business as it grows.”
Finally, choose one small action you can take this week that aligns with your business vision, and is supported by your new empowering thoughts. Remember, transitioning from a 9-5 to an entrepreneurial venture isn't about making sweeping changes overnight. No, no, no. It's about consistently choosing thoughts that empower you and taking small, aligned actions every day.
You have so much more power than you realize. Your thoughts create your reality, and they can fuel more energy and action than you even believe possible. All it takes is managing your mind. I hope today's episode has opened your eyes to the incredible power you hold between those two ears of yours. Remember, this transformation from employee to business owner is ongoing, and I'm here to support you every step of the way.
So, if you found value in today's episode, I encourage you to put these concepts into practice. Start with a daily thought download, question those limiting beliefs about starting a business, and choose thoughts that energize and empower you along the way. And don't forget to apply these practices to life outside of your business. It applies to everything.
Don't forget to tune in next week, where we'll be talking about finances and strategies that you can start right now, so money is no longer an excuse that holds you back, but really a part of your business plan to get you confidently to your transition date and beyond. Until then, don't believe everything you think, and take care of yourself. I'll see you next Wednesday.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. If you want to learn more about how I can help you stop making excuses and start making moves, head on over to www.jenna.coach. I’ll see you next week.
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