Be Kind to Yourself
Self-compassion is the secret sauce to everything. So, what exactly is self-compassion? Dr. Kristin Neff explains it beautifully within three elements;
Self-kindness vs. Self-judgement - Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or beating ourselves up with self-criticism. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend.
Common humanity vs. Isolation - Self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to “me” alone. It’s not because it’s you, it’s because you’re human.
Mindfulness vs. Over-identification - We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time. At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over-identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity. The key to self-compassion is to notice when we’re not practicing self-compassion.
Want more? Read more from Dr. Neff
Question: How do you think things might change if you responded to yourself in the same way you typically respond to a close friend when they feel inadequate?
Action: Try 1 this week Self Compassion Guided Practices and Exercises
💜 a good quote…
“When you are cruel to yourself, contemptuous and shaming, you only increase the cruelty in the world; when you are kind and compassionate toward yourself, you increase the kindness and compassion in the world.” - excerpt from the book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
“Research shows that trying to motivate ourselves out of fear, guilt, and shame simply doesn’t work, and that in fact, being compassionate with ourselves is much more likely to cause us to act in alignment with our intentions.” - excerpt from the book, Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead
