Working in the Business of Hope
TL:DR - Brené Brown says that we experience hope when;
We have realistic goals.
We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, with the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative pathways.
We have agency- we believe in ourselves.
This is my job in a nutshell, no matter what brings clients to coaching. How awesome is that?!
I'm currently reading Brené Brown's newest book, Atlas of the Heart (should out to the Rykiel Reading Rainbow 🌈 ! ). It's a book that's right up my alley because it's all about emotions and feelings. In one of the chapters she talks about hope.
Brené says that "We need hope like we need air."
She says that hope is a "way of thinking-- a cognitive process" and I can't help but think of its alignment with my clients and the coaching process. She says that we experience hope when;
We have realistic goals
We are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, with the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative pathways.
We have agency- we believe in ourselves
As I read the bullet points, I thought about every person I've had the joy of working with as a coach. No matter what brings them to coaching-- whether they want to start their own business, develop healthier habits, spend more time with loved ones -- the three bullet points that Brené Brown outlines are the foundations of the coaching process.
Setting realistic goals is where we start.
And it's not just setting realistic goals, for a lot of my clients, it's figuring out what success looks like. Sometimes, when clients get to me they know they are feeling stuck and they want change but they don't even have a clear goal. We work to figure out what success looks like so that we have a target to aim for. Without a target, it's impossible to figure out the right actions to get there. Once we are clear on the goal and have a target that we're aiming for,
We figure out how to achieve the goal that are set.
This may include being curious about what they've already done that hasn't worked, brainstorming a course of action, and often times it includes creating mini goals or steps just to move clients forward to a place that they can embody a new perspective. Flexibility is key here because as no coaching experience is completely linear. We take a few steps forward, uncover new data to use on the adventure, and recalibrate for the next move. As the individual is learning more about themselves in the process, it may require that the path be altered or adjusted based on new information.
Obstacles and setbacks are guaranteed, which is why clients benefit from having a neutral party, yours truly, there to maintain the vision when it gets blurry along the way.
We work each session until they truly believe in themselves.
The third bullet point, the one about agency and believing in ourselves is really the bread and butter of my coaching process. As a mindset and empowerment coach, this is peppered into every moment of the coaching process. I learned very early on that it's incredibly important for me to believe in every client, even before we sign the agreement to start working together. It's important for me to believe that anything is possible, because this is often what is holding people back from achieving their goals without a coach-- the pesky belief that they aren't "blank" enough-- smart enough, dedicated enough, motivated enough, etc, etc. So from the time someone schedules their first consultation with me and in each moment forward, I've made the decision to truly believe that anything is possible. And so far, not one person has disappointed.
There is power in belief. When we believe in ourselves, our actions are different-- more focused, open, experimental, courageous. That's why it is not enough for me to believe in them, we work each session until they truly believe in themselves.
That's what mindset coaching is all about-- changing the way we think, the "cognitive process" that Brené talks about in her book.
I know I've said this a million times before, but I'll say it again-- I love my job. I get to watch this beautiful transformation in clients. People can go from a place of feeling like they have no agency in their future, to a place with endless possibilities. It doesn't happen overnight and it's often a frustrating process since rewiring our brains is tedious business, but it's worth it. It's also life long work.
I'd be lying if I told you that once we believe in ourselves once, we never go back to moments of self doubt. Being a human is complex and tricky business. That's why I'm grateful that the coaching industry exists. Since my first career coach that changed my life, I've always had at least one coach that I'm working with at any given time. Being able to see the exponential value in asking for help and leaning into a process where goals are achieved in less time and with less turmoil is life affirming.
I'm so grateful to be working in the business of hope.
I've never thought of what I do to be part of hope creation, but after reading that particular chapter in Atlas of the Heart, and after I've looked back at the countless clients I've worked with so far, that's what we're doing together every session-- experiencing hope.
It's a beautiful thing.
Interested in learning more about coaching? I’ve recently added an option in my scheduling page that allows you to book a 20 minute “Let’s Chat” session if you’re interested in learning more about coaching and not necessarily interested in a Discovery Session.
I’m happy to talk more about the industry and share insight along the way!
