71. 4 Principles for Making Big, Scary Decisions
Big, scary decisions have a way of consuming our thoughts at 2 AM, when the house is quiet and our mind races through every possible scenario of a decision that has been weighing on our heart for months… or maybe even years.
Whether it's starting that business that keeps calling to you, leaving a soul-draining job, or making a major family move, we cycle through the same mental gymnastics - calculating risks, making endless pros and cons lists, hoping someone will just tell us what to do. But underneath all that mental churning lies a simple truth: the decision has already been made in our hearts.
Join me today as I share lessons from my family’s big, scary decision to move from Maryland to Colorado. These principles apply whether you're contemplating starting a business, changing careers, or making any leap that's been calling your name. You'll learn practical ways to move past the paralysis of overthinking and into aligned action that honors both your dreams and the reality that growth always involves loss.
Ready for clarity and a simple action plan to get your business started? Schedule a free 1-hour consultation with me here!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
Why all decisions are actually made in an instant.
How creating a life you love requires holding two opposing emotions.
The reason clarity only comes through action, not through more thinking or analysis.
Why avoiding a decision is still making a decision.
4 lessons that will help you begin trusting your inner knowing instead of waiting for perfect certainty.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
Click here for step-by-step instructions to leave a rating and review to let me know what you think, and don’t forget to share the podcast with others who you think would benefit!
If you want to realize your dreams of leaving corporate and starting your own business, join me for a free strategy session by clicking here!
Full Episode Transcript:
You know what you want. The decision has already been made in your heart. All that mental gymnastics that you're doing, that's not decision making, okay? That is just often fear that is disguised as being responsible or thorough.
Welcome to How to Quit Your Job, the podcast for moms ready to ditch the nine-to-five and build a life and business they love. I’m your host, Jenna Rykiel. Let’s go.
Hi, mom friends. Thank you for being here and listening. I'm feeling energized coming off of the event I did last week to help moms to get their butts in gear to start your business before the end of the year. If you missed the event but you know you want to start your business within the next few months, please schedule a free consultation with me. The link is in the show notes, Jenna.Coach/71, so we can make sure that your business is up and running before the new year. I'll talk about what I shared in the webinar and we'll also be able to talk about the obstacles that are holding you individually back.
So for today's conversation, I want to talk about big scary decisions. We've all been there, right? Lying in bed at 2 AM, staring at the ceiling, our mind racing with a decision that has been weighing on our heart for months or maybe even years. Maybe it's whether to finally start that business that keeps calling to us. Maybe it's whether to leave a job, a corporate job or a traditional job that's slowly draining our soul. Maybe it's a big family decision or move that would change everything.
And here's what's happening in that beautiful exhausted brain of ours. We're cycling through every possible scenario. What if it doesn't work? What if I fail? What if I'm making a huge mistake? What if I regret it? We're calculating and recalculating, making pros and cons lists that get longer by the day, asking everyone around us for their opinion, really hoping that somebody will just tell us what to do, right? We all kind of want somebody to just tell us what to do.
But here is the thing. We already know what we want to do. You know what you want. The decision has already been made in your heart. All that mental gymnastics that you're doing, that's not decision making, okay? That is just often fear that is disguised as being responsible or thorough. And I know this because a few months ago, my family made a decision that we'd been "thinking about" for 4 years. We moved from Maryland, where we were surrounded by family and friends who love us dearly, to Denver, Colorado, a city 1800 miles away from everyone we love most.
Today I'm going to talk about the truth about what it looks like to make hard decisions like we recently made, decisions that align with who you want to become, even when they break your heart a little bit. And I'm going to give you 4 powerful lessons that will absolutely transform how you think about those big decisions in your own life, whether that's starting a business, changing careers, or any other leap that's been calling your name, okay? Because here's what I know about you. You didn't tune into a podcast called How to Quit Your Job because you're perfectly content with your life right now.
You're here because something inside you is ready for more. You're here because you know there's a version of yourself and your life that lights you up, and there's a part of you that's tired of playing small. So lesson number 1: all decisions are made in an instant. The time before you make a decision is just thinking about deciding. I want to take you back to the moment that changed everything for our family. We were sitting in, my husband and I were sitting in our living room in Maryland on a Tuesday evening in early April. The kiddos were finally asleep and we had actually just gotten back from a week long vacation that was full of conversations about what our life would look like for the next 5 years.
We called it the life vision retreat week. And in those nightly talks, never once did we talk about or plan to move to Colorado. So on this Tuesday night, fresh off of mapping out the next 4 years of our life in Maryland, my husband Chris sits on the couch and says, "We should move to Denver." And in that single moment, the decision was made. We threw away all of our beautiful handwritten 4 year plan notes and everything that came after was just logistics.
Here's what I want you to know. All decisions are made in an instant. That moment of knowing, that internal yes or no, that's the decision. Everything else is just our brain trying to convince us that we need more information, more certainty, more guarantees before we can move forward. Everything else is just our brain wanting to avoid making the decision because it's hard.
Think about maybe the business that you've been dreaming about starting. I'd be willing to bet that at some point, maybe when you were driving to work or lying in bed or watching your kids play, you had that moment, that flash of what if I actually did this? That moment when your whole body lit up with possibility. That was your decision being made.
But then what happened, and what happens for all of us, is that your brain jumps in with all the reasons why you need to wait. You need to do more research. You need to save more money. You need the kids to be older. You need your partner to be more supportive. You need the perfect business plan. I've said it before on this podcast and I'll say it again, clarity doesn't come from more thinking. Clarity comes from action. The information you're waiting for, the certainty you crave, it only comes when you step into the decision you've already made in your heart.
Chris and I knew that if we didn't at least try living in Colorado with our family, then we'd regret it. Honestly, that's the only reason we had kids too. I wasn't ready for kids. I never really thought about being a mom and I wasn't pulled to motherhood naturally, but I knew that I would one day regret not having a family of my own and so that gave us courage, right? It's hard to create a life that we love while simultaneously living with regret.
So here's what I want you to do. I want you to stop asking yourself, "Should I?" and start asking, "How can I?" When you catch yourself spiraling in indecision about something you know you want to pursue, redirect your brain from whether to how. Because the truth is you already know what you want to do. Just like my husband and I knew that we wanted to move to Colorado, we just knew that the decision was also really hard and complicated. But your job is to trust that inner knowing and start moving toward it.
Lesson number 2 is that creating a life you love isn't all rainbows and butterflies. Growth requires loss. It's important to know that immediately after we made the decision to move to Colorado, I was relieved and excited and also sick to my stomach. There were countless moments of tears, especially when telling the people I loved most about the move. I also had random bouts of crying leading up to the move, not because I didn't want to move. I absolutely did. It was the right thing for us and our family, but because I was now taking my boys away from their grandparents who adore them. I was taking my toddler away from his best friends, his cousin Miles and my best friend's daughter, Frankie. I was leaving my best friend. I was leaving behind a support system that had carried me through the hardest and most beautiful moments of motherhood. Moving toward our dreams also meant moving away from so much love and so many people that we valued.
Even still, like today in this moment, I'm doing my best to hold two feelings that are at odds with each other, right? Like the excitement and knowing of being in a place we love and the heartbreak and loss of our previous life. There's alignment and there's equal parts grief. The rightness of the decision and the pain of what we're leaving behind, what we left behind.
It feels like we've been sold this lie that if we're making the right choice, it should feel good all the time. You know, that following your dreams should be easy and joyful and Instagram worthy. But that's not how real growth works, okay? Real growth requires letting go of versions of ourselves and our lives that felt safe and familiar. It means feeling sick to your stomach every now and then, not because you're not following your intuition, but because you are and doing that is often harder than not doing that.
When you do that thing, when you start that business, you're going to have to let go of the security of that steady paycheck. When you quit that corporate job, you're going to have to let go of the identity you've held for years. When you choose courage over comfort, you're going to grieve the simplicity of staying small. But the grief doesn't mean you're making the wrong choice. The grief is proof that what you're leaving behind mattered. It's proof that you're human, that you have a heart, that you don't make big changes lightly.
I also want to just note that starting your business does not mean that you immediately have to leave the comfort of the steady paycheck or you have to immediately create your exit plan. Starting your business, it could look different for you where it's valuable and I also support oftentimes staying in that space where you are creating income and able to live comfortably before leaving your job entirely, right? Before depending on the new business to support your family.
So there is excitement and there's also grief. I want you to know that the grief also proves that you are brave enough to choose growth over comfort in those moments. It proves that you're committed to being who you're meant to be, whatever that means for you, even when it's hard. It proves that you love yourself and your family enough to pursue the life that will fulfill you, not just the life that feels safe. I miss my family dearly every single day. I get teary-eyed when Adley asks when he can see his cousin Maimai. But I also wake up every morning in a place that truly fills my soul.
There's not a day goes by that we haven't been either at the park or at the botanic gardens. You know, we joke that I pack an average of two picnics a day. And on the weekends, we get to hike in the mountains, right? Which is really hard considering two kids means that I have to carry one in a hiking backpack and both boys weigh close to 30 pounds or more at this point. So, but I want you to consider giving yourself permission to feel it all, right? When you're making a big decision, whether it's starting a business or making any other significant life change, don't judge yourself for the complicated emotions. Excitement and fear can coexist. Alignment and sadness can coexist. Trust that you can hold both and that those difficult emotions being there, they don't invalidate the decision.
The third lesson is that you don't need to know the outcome to make the choice. Clarity comes through action. And I actually did an episode on this recently, episode 67, how to start your business without certainty. So if this topic, if this lesson really gets you going and resonates with you, check out episode 67 for more thoughts. But this was so important in the process. And we made the decision to move to Colorado and I have no idea if Denver is our forever home.
You know, a lot of people asked us before we were leaving, they asked, "So you're staying in Denver permanently?" I tell them, "Honestly, I don't know." Maybe we'll love it so much that we never leave. Maybe in a few years, we'll realize we need to be closer to family. Maybe we'll end up somewhere completely different that we haven't even considered yet or thought about. And you know what? That uncertainty doesn't scare me anymore because I've learned that you don't need to know the ending to start the next chapter. And for us, we can always go back. We can always go back to Maryland.
For years I thought I needed, you know, to guarantee the outcome before I could make the choice, right? It needs to be the right decision. It needs to be the most efficient decision. It needs to be the best decision. It needs to be the decision that avoids failure. I needed to know that if we moved to Denver, it would work out perfectly, my past self, right? I needed to know that the kids would thrive, that we'd build community, that we wouldn't regret it. But there's no way to know any of that without trying it, without taking action. And I see the same pattern with so many of the moms that I coach in my business. They want to start a business, but first, they want to know that it will be successful. They want to know exactly how much money they'll make, exactly how many clients they'll get, exactly how it will all work out even before, especially before they're willing to take that first step.
But that's like trying to see the entire trail before you take the first step on a hike. You don't actually need to see the whole trail. You just need to trust that after you start and continue on the path, the next steps will reveal themselves, right? The next steps in the process will become clear. Again, clarity comes through action, not before it. When you start taking steps toward what you want, the path truly reveals itself. When you stay stuck in analysis paralysis, nothing gets clearer. You just get more confused. This is so much of the past 4 years for my husband and I in discussing whether or not we were going to move, whether or not we were going to stay in Maryland.
So much of our discussions were trying to figure out what the best fit was or what the right decision was without knowing the outcome. It was a lot of talking, a lot of analysis paralysis, and truly, you know, never really knowing what was going to be the outcome, like what was actually going to be best. And so taking action, now we're in Denver and we are living here with kids, seeing what it's like, seeing how it's different from Maryland, seeing what we like about it, seeing what we don't like about it, and learning so much about ourselves in the process.
And like I said, we don't know if Colorado is our forever home. We could one day look back and say that was a lot of work to try something out when our real home or the right place for our family is actually in Maryland. And in that case, it could look like a mistake. But by making mistakes, we get to course correct along the way and we learn more along the way. Building the life you love, it works the same way, right? You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to be willing to trust yourself enough to take the next right step in that moment, and then the next one, and then the next one.
I would love for you to identify one small step that you can take this week towards something that you want but have been overthinking, right? Not a huge leap, just one small step. So maybe it's researching business licenses. Maybe it's having a conversation with your spouse about your dreams. Maybe it's setting up a savings account for your future business. Okay, I want you to take that step without needing to know steps TWO through infinity.
In every episode, I talk about small actions that you can take to start and build your business. I do that intentionally, right? Because I know one of the biggest barriers is not knowing what to do. I had a past client recently get in touch with me and say that, you know, "Jenna, you should create a workbook that combines all the action steps from all of the episodes so far because there are so many great ideas." So pick an episode and take action, or start with the actions from this episode. Clarity comes through action, and if you don't know what to do, just go back through any of these episodes and find different small actions that you can take. You can also refer to the episode transcript for any episode by going to Jenna.Coach/71 for this episode or any number of episode after the forward slash.
So you're going to take action and you're going to take action without knowing how it's going to work out entirely and that's okay. The fourth lesson, so the last lesson in this move, I mean, there's probably a million lessons I'm still learning, but one of the other really important lessons is that what you're giving up during these big life changes is going to be obvious. What you're gaining is a mystery. I want to share something that happened that felt like a nudge from the universe that everything is going to be okay for us in the move.
So the first day we moved into our house in Denver, we had just gotten home from a walk in the park and so we were still outside on the porch and a neighbor walked by with a flyer. After introducing herself and welcoming us to the neighborhood, she invited us to a neighborhood block party. And on the flyer about the block party, it said Denver's number one block as voted on by Halloween trick or treaters citywide. And I literally got chills when I read that because one of the things I had been privately mourning about leaving Maryland was the Halloween tradition that we had with our family.
So for the past 4 years, we spent Halloween at my sister's house, you know, walking around her neighborhood with all the cousins piled in a red wagon, neighbors that were sitting around fire pits in their driveways with bowls of candy. And I just loved that tradition so much and I was so heartbroken that we'd probably never experience it again. You know, there's no reason for us to go back home for Halloween. You know, maybe like end of the year holidays, but Halloween probably not.
But here's what I couldn't have imagined. We didn't lose our Halloween tradition. We gained a different one, right? Maybe even a more magical one for our family. Our street in Denver is said to be like something out of a Halloween movie, right? It's like every single house is decorated to the nines. There's so many kids that flood the street. Our neighbor sets up a haunted house. And again, it's something that we are gaining that I had no idea, right? I was so focused on what we were giving up.
So that taught me something so profound. And there's so many other examples of this that keep popping up. But when we're contemplating big decisions, we can see very clearly what we're giving up because it's right in front of us. Right, we know exactly what we're leaving behind. But we can't see what we're gaining because those gifts haven't revealed themselves yet. How could we know all the little things that we're gaining? This is why so many of us stay stuck when we're thinking about starting a business or making a big change. We can see clearly what we'd be giving up. Maybe for a business, it's the steady paycheck, the familiar routine, the security of a regular schedule. But it's so hard to see all the incredible things that are waiting on the other side because they haven't happened yet. We haven't experienced them.
What if starting that business leads you to your new best friend, right? Another mom entrepreneur who gets you in a way no one else has. What if it leads to you becoming a more present, fulfilled mother because your cup is finally full and you're doing work that lights you up? What if it leads to deeper communication and respect in your marriage because you learn to ask for exactly what you need? What if it leads to creating something that positively impacts thousands of people? These aren't just like pipe dreams. I've watched this happen for client after client. Every single woman I've coached has been pleasantly surprised by aspects of entrepreneurship that she never could have imagined.
And yes, there are challenges, right? It is not rainbows and butterflies, like I said. But there are also so many gifts that you just can't imagine and see until you're living them. So instead of focusing only on the pieces that you might lose by taking a leap or making a big decision or change for your family, I want you to spend time imagining what you might gain. Okay, write down 10 potential positive outcomes that you can't see yet. Ask yourself, "What's the best-case scenario?" Let yourself dream about the magic that might be waiting on the other side of taking action.
The other thing that I want to mention and maybe reiterate because I've talked about this before as well on the podcast is that not making a decision or avoiding a decision is still a decision. It's often a decision to choose to stay where you are, often choosing comfort over growth. When we avoid making a decision, it's then making a decision, choosing the familiar over the possibility of something extraordinary. Making a decision that creates big life changes feels hard. It feels uncertain. It feels risky. So instead, we can easily stay in analysis mode, like I talked about before. And you know, like my husband and I, we can tell ourselves we're being smart and careful, but really we're just avoiding the hard thing that is going to be uncomfortable in the moment and putting off maybe a more fulfilled life, a more joyful life in the process.
There is truly no such thing as a risk-free life, okay? Staying where you are is also a risk. It's the risk of regret. It's the risk of never knowing what could have been, right? The question isn't whether you'll face discomfort. You will either way, whether you make the big decision or not. We are designed to exist in the world of problems. Our life right now is uncomfortable and the life we want will also have discomfort. The question is, which discomfort will lead you to growth? Right? Which discomfort will lead to you becoming a better version of yourself? The discomfort that you know that might be happening right now, or the discomfort that you don't know waiting on the other side of that big decision.
So these aren't just lessons from my move to Colorado. These are like really principles that will help you make big decisions in your life, decisions that will help you create a life you love because we can't create a life we love without big hard decisions. What we talked about today, just to kind of bring it all together. First, all decisions are made in an instant, okay? Stop waiting for more information and start trusting that inner knowing that's already there. Your job isn't to think your way into clarity, it's to act your way into clarity. The second thing is creating a life you love isn't all rainbows and butterflies, right? Growth requires loss and that's not a sign you're making the wrong choice. It's proof that you're ready for more and that what you're leaving behind mattered, right? And you're brave enough to choose becoming over comfort. The third thing you don't need to know the outcome to make the choice. Clarity comes through action, not before it. Trust that you can handle whatever comes next, even if it means course correcting along the way. You will have to course correct. I promise and that's okay.
Fourth and last, what you're giving up is obvious, but what you're gaining is a beautiful mystery, okay? Don't let fear of the unknown keep you from the magic that might be waiting on the other side of courage. It's better to know and go back, try it out and go back, than to never know what could have been. Here's what I want you to do right now before you move on to the next thing on your to-do list. I want you to think about that decision that's been weighing on you. Maybe it's finally starting that business, maybe it's having an important conversation with your partner. Maybe it's a big move or a big trip that you've been wanting to do. I want you to stop waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect plan, the perfect level of certainty. Those don't exist. But I want you to trust in your capacity to figure it out along the way, your ability to handle whatever comes next, and I want you to just start taking action on it.
Keep tuning into this podcast because I am committed to being your guide as you build momentum toward the life and business you love. Every episode is designed to give you one more tool, one more insight, one more opportunity for action to move you forward. You don't have to figure it all out at once. You just need to take one step at a time. I will see you next week.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. If you want to learn more about how I can help you stop making excuses and start making moves, head on over to www.jenna.coach. I’ll see you next week.
Welcome to How to Quit Your Job, the podcast for moms ready to ditch the nine-to-five and build a life and business they love. I’m your host, Jenna Rykiel. Let’s go.
Hi, mom friends. Thank you for being here and listening. I'm feeling energized coming off of the event I did last week to help moms to get their butts in gear to start your business before the end of the year. If you missed the event but you know you want to start your business within the next few months, please schedule a free consultation with me. The link is in the show notes, Jenna.Coach/71, so we can make sure that your business is up and running before the new year. I'll talk about what I shared in the webinar and we'll also be able to talk about the obstacles that are holding you individually back.
So for today's conversation, I want to talk about big scary decisions. We've all been there, right? Lying in bed at 2 AM, staring at the ceiling, our mind racing with a decision that has been weighing on our heart for months or maybe even years. Maybe it's whether to finally start that business that keeps calling to us. Maybe it's whether to leave a job, a corporate job or a traditional job that's slowly draining our soul. Maybe it's a big family decision or move that would change everything.
And here's what's happening in that beautiful exhausted brain of ours. We're cycling through every possible scenario. What if it doesn't work? What if I fail? What if I'm making a huge mistake? What if I regret it? We're calculating and recalculating, making pros and cons lists that get longer by the day, asking everyone around us for their opinion, really hoping that somebody will just tell us what to do, right? We all kind of want somebody to just tell us what to do.
But here is the thing. We already know what we want to do. You know what you want. The decision has already been made in your heart. All that mental gymnastics that you're doing, that's not decision making, okay? That is just often fear that is disguised as being responsible or thorough. And I know this because a few months ago, my family made a decision that we'd been "thinking about" for 4 years. We moved from Maryland, where we were surrounded by family and friends who love us dearly, to Denver, Colorado, a city 1800 miles away from everyone we love most.
Today I'm going to talk about the truth about what it looks like to make hard decisions like we recently made, decisions that align with who you want to become, even when they break your heart a little bit. And I'm going to give you 4 powerful lessons that will absolutely transform how you think about those big decisions in your own life, whether that's starting a business, changing careers, or any other leap that's been calling your name, okay? Because here's what I know about you. You didn't tune into a podcast called How to Quit Your Job because you're perfectly content with your life right now.
You're here because something inside you is ready for more. You're here because you know there's a version of yourself and your life that lights you up, and there's a part of you that's tired of playing small. So lesson number 1: all decisions are made in an instant. The time before you make a decision is just thinking about deciding. I want to take you back to the moment that changed everything for our family. We were sitting in, my husband and I were sitting in our living room in Maryland on a Tuesday evening in early April. The kiddos were finally asleep and we had actually just gotten back from a week long vacation that was full of conversations about what our life would look like for the next 5 years.
We called it the life vision retreat week. And in those nightly talks, never once did we talk about or plan to move to Colorado. So on this Tuesday night, fresh off of mapping out the next 4 years of our life in Maryland, my husband Chris sits on the couch and says, "We should move to Denver." And in that single moment, the decision was made. We threw away all of our beautiful handwritten 4 year plan notes and everything that came after was just logistics.
Here's what I want you to know. All decisions are made in an instant. That moment of knowing, that internal yes or no, that's the decision. Everything else is just our brain trying to convince us that we need more information, more certainty, more guarantees before we can move forward. Everything else is just our brain wanting to avoid making the decision because it's hard.
Think about maybe the business that you've been dreaming about starting. I'd be willing to bet that at some point, maybe when you were driving to work or lying in bed or watching your kids play, you had that moment, that flash of what if I actually did this? That moment when your whole body lit up with possibility. That was your decision being made.
But then what happened, and what happens for all of us, is that your brain jumps in with all the reasons why you need to wait. You need to do more research. You need to save more money. You need the kids to be older. You need your partner to be more supportive. You need the perfect business plan. I've said it before on this podcast and I'll say it again, clarity doesn't come from more thinking. Clarity comes from action. The information you're waiting for, the certainty you crave, it only comes when you step into the decision you've already made in your heart.
Chris and I knew that if we didn't at least try living in Colorado with our family, then we'd regret it. Honestly, that's the only reason we had kids too. I wasn't ready for kids. I never really thought about being a mom and I wasn't pulled to motherhood naturally, but I knew that I would one day regret not having a family of my own and so that gave us courage, right? It's hard to create a life that we love while simultaneously living with regret.
So here's what I want you to do. I want you to stop asking yourself, "Should I?" and start asking, "How can I?" When you catch yourself spiraling in indecision about something you know you want to pursue, redirect your brain from whether to how. Because the truth is you already know what you want to do. Just like my husband and I knew that we wanted to move to Colorado, we just knew that the decision was also really hard and complicated. But your job is to trust that inner knowing and start moving toward it.
Lesson number 2 is that creating a life you love isn't all rainbows and butterflies. Growth requires loss. It's important to know that immediately after we made the decision to move to Colorado, I was relieved and excited and also sick to my stomach. There were countless moments of tears, especially when telling the people I loved most about the move. I also had random bouts of crying leading up to the move, not because I didn't want to move. I absolutely did. It was the right thing for us and our family, but because I was now taking my boys away from their grandparents who adore them. I was taking my toddler away from his best friends, his cousin Miles and my best friend's daughter, Frankie. I was leaving my best friend. I was leaving behind a support system that had carried me through the hardest and most beautiful moments of motherhood. Moving toward our dreams also meant moving away from so much love and so many people that we valued.
Even still, like today in this moment, I'm doing my best to hold two feelings that are at odds with each other, right? Like the excitement and knowing of being in a place we love and the heartbreak and loss of our previous life. There's alignment and there's equal parts grief. The rightness of the decision and the pain of what we're leaving behind, what we left behind.
It feels like we've been sold this lie that if we're making the right choice, it should feel good all the time. You know, that following your dreams should be easy and joyful and Instagram worthy. But that's not how real growth works, okay? Real growth requires letting go of versions of ourselves and our lives that felt safe and familiar. It means feeling sick to your stomach every now and then, not because you're not following your intuition, but because you are and doing that is often harder than not doing that.
When you do that thing, when you start that business, you're going to have to let go of the security of that steady paycheck. When you quit that corporate job, you're going to have to let go of the identity you've held for years. When you choose courage over comfort, you're going to grieve the simplicity of staying small. But the grief doesn't mean you're making the wrong choice. The grief is proof that what you're leaving behind mattered. It's proof that you're human, that you have a heart, that you don't make big changes lightly.
I also want to just note that starting your business does not mean that you immediately have to leave the comfort of the steady paycheck or you have to immediately create your exit plan. Starting your business, it could look different for you where it's valuable and I also support oftentimes staying in that space where you are creating income and able to live comfortably before leaving your job entirely, right? Before depending on the new business to support your family.
So there is excitement and there's also grief. I want you to know that the grief also proves that you are brave enough to choose growth over comfort in those moments. It proves that you're committed to being who you're meant to be, whatever that means for you, even when it's hard. It proves that you love yourself and your family enough to pursue the life that will fulfill you, not just the life that feels safe. I miss my family dearly every single day. I get teary-eyed when Adley asks when he can see his cousin Maimai. But I also wake up every morning in a place that truly fills my soul.
There's not a day goes by that we haven't been either at the park or at the botanic gardens. You know, we joke that I pack an average of two picnics a day. And on the weekends, we get to hike in the mountains, right? Which is really hard considering two kids means that I have to carry one in a hiking backpack and both boys weigh close to 30 pounds or more at this point. So, but I want you to consider giving yourself permission to feel it all, right? When you're making a big decision, whether it's starting a business or making any other significant life change, don't judge yourself for the complicated emotions. Excitement and fear can coexist. Alignment and sadness can coexist. Trust that you can hold both and that those difficult emotions being there, they don't invalidate the decision.
The third lesson is that you don't need to know the outcome to make the choice. Clarity comes through action. And I actually did an episode on this recently, episode 67, how to start your business without certainty. So if this topic, if this lesson really gets you going and resonates with you, check out episode 67 for more thoughts. But this was so important in the process. And we made the decision to move to Colorado and I have no idea if Denver is our forever home.
You know, a lot of people asked us before we were leaving, they asked, "So you're staying in Denver permanently?" I tell them, "Honestly, I don't know." Maybe we'll love it so much that we never leave. Maybe in a few years, we'll realize we need to be closer to family. Maybe we'll end up somewhere completely different that we haven't even considered yet or thought about. And you know what? That uncertainty doesn't scare me anymore because I've learned that you don't need to know the ending to start the next chapter. And for us, we can always go back. We can always go back to Maryland.
For years I thought I needed, you know, to guarantee the outcome before I could make the choice, right? It needs to be the right decision. It needs to be the most efficient decision. It needs to be the best decision. It needs to be the decision that avoids failure. I needed to know that if we moved to Denver, it would work out perfectly, my past self, right? I needed to know that the kids would thrive, that we'd build community, that we wouldn't regret it. But there's no way to know any of that without trying it, without taking action. And I see the same pattern with so many of the moms that I coach in my business. They want to start a business, but first, they want to know that it will be successful. They want to know exactly how much money they'll make, exactly how many clients they'll get, exactly how it will all work out even before, especially before they're willing to take that first step.
But that's like trying to see the entire trail before you take the first step on a hike. You don't actually need to see the whole trail. You just need to trust that after you start and continue on the path, the next steps will reveal themselves, right? The next steps in the process will become clear. Again, clarity comes through action, not before it. When you start taking steps toward what you want, the path truly reveals itself. When you stay stuck in analysis paralysis, nothing gets clearer. You just get more confused. This is so much of the past 4 years for my husband and I in discussing whether or not we were going to move, whether or not we were going to stay in Maryland.
So much of our discussions were trying to figure out what the best fit was or what the right decision was without knowing the outcome. It was a lot of talking, a lot of analysis paralysis, and truly, you know, never really knowing what was going to be the outcome, like what was actually going to be best. And so taking action, now we're in Denver and we are living here with kids, seeing what it's like, seeing how it's different from Maryland, seeing what we like about it, seeing what we don't like about it, and learning so much about ourselves in the process.
And like I said, we don't know if Colorado is our forever home. We could one day look back and say that was a lot of work to try something out when our real home or the right place for our family is actually in Maryland. And in that case, it could look like a mistake. But by making mistakes, we get to course correct along the way and we learn more along the way. Building the life you love, it works the same way, right? You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to be willing to trust yourself enough to take the next right step in that moment, and then the next one, and then the next one.
I would love for you to identify one small step that you can take this week towards something that you want but have been overthinking, right? Not a huge leap, just one small step. So maybe it's researching business licenses. Maybe it's having a conversation with your spouse about your dreams. Maybe it's setting up a savings account for your future business. Okay, I want you to take that step without needing to know steps TWO through infinity.
In every episode, I talk about small actions that you can take to start and build your business. I do that intentionally, right? Because I know one of the biggest barriers is not knowing what to do. I had a past client recently get in touch with me and say that, you know, "Jenna, you should create a workbook that combines all the action steps from all of the episodes so far because there are so many great ideas." So pick an episode and take action, or start with the actions from this episode. Clarity comes through action, and if you don't know what to do, just go back through any of these episodes and find different small actions that you can take. You can also refer to the episode transcript for any episode by going to Jenna.Coach/71 for this episode or any number of episode after the forward slash.
So you're going to take action and you're going to take action without knowing how it's going to work out entirely and that's okay. The fourth lesson, so the last lesson in this move, I mean, there's probably a million lessons I'm still learning, but one of the other really important lessons is that what you're giving up during these big life changes is going to be obvious. What you're gaining is a mystery. I want to share something that happened that felt like a nudge from the universe that everything is going to be okay for us in the move.
So the first day we moved into our house in Denver, we had just gotten home from a walk in the park and so we were still outside on the porch and a neighbor walked by with a flyer. After introducing herself and welcoming us to the neighborhood, she invited us to a neighborhood block party. And on the flyer about the block party, it said Denver's number one block as voted on by Halloween trick or treaters citywide. And I literally got chills when I read that because one of the things I had been privately mourning about leaving Maryland was the Halloween tradition that we had with our family.
So for the past 4 years, we spent Halloween at my sister's house, you know, walking around her neighborhood with all the cousins piled in a red wagon, neighbors that were sitting around fire pits in their driveways with bowls of candy. And I just loved that tradition so much and I was so heartbroken that we'd probably never experience it again. You know, there's no reason for us to go back home for Halloween. You know, maybe like end of the year holidays, but Halloween probably not.
But here's what I couldn't have imagined. We didn't lose our Halloween tradition. We gained a different one, right? Maybe even a more magical one for our family. Our street in Denver is said to be like something out of a Halloween movie, right? It's like every single house is decorated to the nines. There's so many kids that flood the street. Our neighbor sets up a haunted house. And again, it's something that we are gaining that I had no idea, right? I was so focused on what we were giving up.
So that taught me something so profound. And there's so many other examples of this that keep popping up. But when we're contemplating big decisions, we can see very clearly what we're giving up because it's right in front of us. Right, we know exactly what we're leaving behind. But we can't see what we're gaining because those gifts haven't revealed themselves yet. How could we know all the little things that we're gaining? This is why so many of us stay stuck when we're thinking about starting a business or making a big change. We can see clearly what we'd be giving up. Maybe for a business, it's the steady paycheck, the familiar routine, the security of a regular schedule. But it's so hard to see all the incredible things that are waiting on the other side because they haven't happened yet. We haven't experienced them.
What if starting that business leads you to your new best friend, right? Another mom entrepreneur who gets you in a way no one else has. What if it leads to you becoming a more present, fulfilled mother because your cup is finally full and you're doing work that lights you up? What if it leads to deeper communication and respect in your marriage because you learn to ask for exactly what you need? What if it leads to creating something that positively impacts thousands of people? These aren't just like pipe dreams. I've watched this happen for client after client. Every single woman I've coached has been pleasantly surprised by aspects of entrepreneurship that she never could have imagined.
And yes, there are challenges, right? It is not rainbows and butterflies, like I said. But there are also so many gifts that you just can't imagine and see until you're living them. So instead of focusing only on the pieces that you might lose by taking a leap or making a big decision or change for your family, I want you to spend time imagining what you might gain. Okay, write down 10 potential positive outcomes that you can't see yet. Ask yourself, "What's the best-case scenario?" Let yourself dream about the magic that might be waiting on the other side of taking action.
The other thing that I want to mention and maybe reiterate because I've talked about this before as well on the podcast is that not making a decision or avoiding a decision is still a decision. It's often a decision to choose to stay where you are, often choosing comfort over growth. When we avoid making a decision, it's then making a decision, choosing the familiar over the possibility of something extraordinary. Making a decision that creates big life changes feels hard. It feels uncertain. It feels risky. So instead, we can easily stay in analysis mode, like I talked about before. And you know, like my husband and I, we can tell ourselves we're being smart and careful, but really we're just avoiding the hard thing that is going to be uncomfortable in the moment and putting off maybe a more fulfilled life, a more joyful life in the process.
There is truly no such thing as a risk-free life, okay? Staying where you are is also a risk. It's the risk of regret. It's the risk of never knowing what could have been, right? The question isn't whether you'll face discomfort. You will either way, whether you make the big decision or not. We are designed to exist in the world of problems. Our life right now is uncomfortable and the life we want will also have discomfort. The question is, which discomfort will lead you to growth? Right? Which discomfort will lead to you becoming a better version of yourself? The discomfort that you know that might be happening right now, or the discomfort that you don't know waiting on the other side of that big decision.
So these aren't just lessons from my move to Colorado. These are like really principles that will help you make big decisions in your life, decisions that will help you create a life you love because we can't create a life we love without big hard decisions. What we talked about today, just to kind of bring it all together. First, all decisions are made in an instant, okay? Stop waiting for more information and start trusting that inner knowing that's already there. Your job isn't to think your way into clarity, it's to act your way into clarity. The second thing is creating a life you love isn't all rainbows and butterflies, right? Growth requires loss and that's not a sign you're making the wrong choice. It's proof that you're ready for more and that what you're leaving behind mattered, right? And you're brave enough to choose becoming over comfort. The third thing you don't need to know the outcome to make the choice. Clarity comes through action, not before it. Trust that you can handle whatever comes next, even if it means course correcting along the way. You will have to course correct. I promise and that's okay.
Fourth and last, what you're giving up is obvious, but what you're gaining is a beautiful mystery, okay? Don't let fear of the unknown keep you from the magic that might be waiting on the other side of courage. It's better to know and go back, try it out and go back, than to never know what could have been. Here's what I want you to do right now before you move on to the next thing on your to-do list. I want you to think about that decision that's been weighing on you. Maybe it's finally starting that business, maybe it's having an important conversation with your partner. Maybe it's a big move or a big trip that you've been wanting to do. I want you to stop waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect plan, the perfect level of certainty. Those don't exist. But I want you to trust in your capacity to figure it out along the way, your ability to handle whatever comes next, and I want you to just start taking action on it.
Keep tuning into this podcast because I am committed to being your guide as you build momentum toward the life and business you love. Every episode is designed to give you one more tool, one more insight, one more opportunity for action to move you forward. You don't have to figure it all out at once. You just need to take one step at a time. I will see you next week.
Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of How to Quit Your Job: A Mom’s Guide to Creating a Life and Business You Love. If you want to learn more about how I can help you stop making excuses and start making moves, head on over to www.jenna.coach. I’ll see you next week.
Enjoy the Show?
Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or RSS.
Next
Next